There are some beings that are just waiting on you to fail. I mean you can’t fail fast enough in their eyes. They need you to stumble so bad that you can’t get back up. Maybe with a little guided assistance but they need you to remain weak in order for them to be able to feel stronger and stand tall.

I wish people weren’t like that but you can see their misguided intentions interwoven into almost everything that it is that they do. Lacking their own sense of identity they become a blend of everybody else. I never believed we would live in a society with no identity but here we are barreling towards it.

I would never condone anybody trapped inside the wrong body. I couldn’t imagine that help. I do believe in reincarnation to some level so if one believes that it is not far to imagine that one can feel trapped inside the wrong sex. Their memories of who they once were one rampant in this life which leads to total isolation and a misguided sense of self. That inner turmoil would be almost unbearable to enjoy. How can one move forward into this life when they are so deeply rooted and transfixed on who they were in the past.

You have to ask yourself what is it you believe and do you actually believe it. Some people will say there is nothing after this and others will tell you that we are propelling ourselves towards either a Heaven or Hell but which solution is right? I supposed whichever one it is that you believe but there is a problem with that. It can’t be both when we are coming nearer to the end. Are we only a bag of bones that has left our celestial bodies or are we something that is going to morph into their own version of Heaven and Hell.

There has to be something after all this or wouldn’t their be anarchy here on Earth? There is something that keeps us living on an imaginary line instead of engulfing all this filth into fire. The greatest beast that has ever graced this plant has been man. No other species has done quite so much damage.

Every other species just wants to exist and get the most out of their life. They want to live among companions and have shelter so that they can come out of the elements when it begins to rain. Even in my greenhouse so many bugs and insects now call my little oasis home. Do you know how much pride that fills me with? It’s like I finally feel fulfilled.

There is something to be said as I go around and pick off all the delicious fruit. Here let me show you a reel I made so you can enjoy the bounties of my labour too ❤

Now that is what I call life wouldn’t you? What is most glorious about this little patch of dirt is that not only does it sustain me and help mend my iron deficiency but my two little chinchillas love it too. K well Snowball the newest addition enjoys his veggies but Pippin not so much. She prefers to be a little thick in the middle. She would never say no to a good nut.

Not everybody is for everybody and that is ok. What drives me the most though is those who pretend they are all inclusive of everybody but truly they have another agenda, what else can I say. They are the first ones to step on top of the heads of their most loyal hanger arounds. You know the friends who are the first to speak of your accolades and shut all the trolls down. The liars get to me. Once I get a sense of who you really are there is no sense ever coming back around. I have enough misinformation coming to me at full speed there is no way I would consider listening to anybody else.

I am still convinced Color Street maybe the answer lol I can’t help but loving my fabulous nails. I think it helps just a lil that my husband thinks I am already a failure. I will keep on trying until something sticks and actually works (like these 4 in 1 nearly dry nail strips go and check them out here https://www.colorstreet.com/missrubysweetcheeks. Who knows. Maybe together we can build an empire and get the hell out of dodge as we leave this town!)

It is the same reason why I blog every day or create content for my Instagram, which I love. I can’t get behind TicTok for whatever reason. I think it is the whole idea that it is China ran. You can take the girl out of Russia but you can’t take out the worry in her heart. Better safe than sorry and all that jazz plus I just prefer Instagram. I got enough going on without another social media handle so I do what I do because I enjoy it.

You all know my blog because that is why I am here and I just started venturing out into YouTube (check out my channel here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT44prvb_o835cQOG327hbQ). You can’t say I am not trying. I guess if you are like my husband you would say there was better things for me to be doing. I don’t for any means think I am going to get “famous” or that I will ever have a big following. I am just here to touch the hearts of one that may think that I can help in their healing. I have been through a lot in these 43 years of life and if I can’t try to help others in their journey then I believe all my pain and suffering was for nothing.

So what if I am hated because there is always the chance that I can be liked. I think that risk is worth everything in this long, drawn out journey we call life.