A Burning Desire

I try not to think about all the negatives but some days there is no chance but to get swept away. With every passing day I have a growing fear that my Dad is getting older and he will end up suffering a similar fate as his Father. The only regret I have from when I was younger is not keeping closer family ties. I try not to let it get to bothersome though I did what I did out of fear and a burning desire to want to survive.

Feeling Shame

I don’t want anybody around me anymore because it hurts too much when they decide to leave. They always leave. I am way too much for most people so I just sit here with a blank face trying to remember what it felt like when I was able to fully breathe. I hate being hated but that is all I am. I am not worthy of any kind of affection my own family has taught me that.

No Air

There is very little joy here as I struggle for air and get told that I am lazy or just a stupid dumb f*ck. I literally get run off my feet ragged with my son only to have my husband to come home and call me all these degrading names. I already hate myself and he makes me hate myself so much more. I wish that somebody cared to comfort me when I cried. I think I would like that one last time before I finally lose my breath forever and die.

Live Your Last Day

I keep my circle small and my company deep. There is no expense I won’t share for them to know how much they are appreciated in a world that can be so cold and deeply uncaring. The things that I have been forced to watch happen to those I love at the expense of another is why I continue to tell my story. With so many wolves wearing sheep’s clothing I think I little bit of help identifying them is ok in mind.

I Am Not Confident But I Am Worthy

I am not confident but I know I am worthy of living my best life in the images of my ancestors that they left behind. There would have been a time when they were younger dreaming of me and what their future may have looked like. Maybe not exactly of me but there would have been a time when they would have dreamed about their future and all the light they would bring into this world. Now I am their light dreaming of their world.

Live Another Day

Not everybody is who they appear to be and yes some people are more than capable of a little change. I think about those from time to time who are too set in there ways and who will always remain the same. They will feed on the corpses of those that loved them not admitting to anybody how it is they got that way. The biggest sell out is the one who will sell just about anybody in order to sustain their need. All they see is a paycheck and they could care less how it is anybody around them may feel.

What’s The Secret?

I hate who they made me. I don’t want to be her but what choice do I have? I can’t go back even though I live through it every singe day. I can’t change the outcome ever because my fate was already sealed and I had to find a way to move on. What I found was a partner who can mimic the rage on the outside of where I found myself to be stuck living in. If only they knew the beginning I was forced to endure maybe they wouldn’t find themselves to be so critical.

Nose To the Grind

Missing out on me may just be your biggest mistake. I am loyal, honest and I am trustworthy and if you have been something similar to me than nothing will ever change. I don’t have time anymore to keep on playing these games. I saw what is waiting for me when I reach the other side so it is a situation where I need to keep my blinders on and keep my nose to the grind.

Yours in Health

There is a drain on our health care system. That is something that is very obvious for the whole world to see. The world has become accustomed to a walk in lifestyle making us wait hours upon hours like there was nothing else more important in our lives to do. I guess there should be nothing else than trying to find our version of owning our best health but when it comes to me I am far too busy to be waiting around for hours and hours without even being greeted or for a Doctor to be seen

A Woman Scorned

I want to be a strong, independent woman, hell bound and determined to try and change the world. That even if the bad man has been sent to come and destroy I will always live to rise and challenge another day. I maybe emotionally overloaded but I am still determined to keep on trying. That nobody will ever defeat me no matter how hard they try I will always think that I can.