A Mother’s Promise

I think it is easiest for people to not lie in their own image when it is so easy to conform and try to be somebody else. Everyday a new person goes viral for their interpretation of another usually mocking them or making fun of them for who the person was and how they were adored.

I see it all the time. At least of course I do. I am surrounded by a community that gets off on immortalizing those that have lived before. What is curious to me is how much fame and fortune the masses actually try to acquire while suppressing the person they were supposed to become after having being born.

To witness this first hand sets off all the bells and whistles. I can see how these characteristics begin to be engrained inside our child’s head and my son is only 4. What I think is its easier to push those aside who appear just a little bit different and focus your attention on all the children who are easier to conform.

What I was told is that my son is not welcome back at school until they hire him an aide because they don’t think it’s fair for him to have to go through school alone. My fear is that we already began to make progress now I have to turn my back on him and say I am sorry babe but the class there will be no more.

I asked the teacher point blank because I was told by the learning coordinator that it would be ok if he only attended for the first part of school. He has survived through the first two hours so why do I have to tell him he can go no more? I can’t do this to my son. I am setting him up for a world of being different. How do I get him to see how beautiful and amazing he is. I mean at least he is to me.

How can the teachers not see how damaging this will be that he can’t go for a week and that is providing that they can hire somebody for him. What if it takes weeks? This seems to be another scenario where they just take our cash and run and now we are left in the corner unable to speak.

This is my boy and I can see what you are doing!! You are making it known to absolutely everybody that y son, my beautiful little boy, may just be a wee bit different than most children his age that you see. Everything is screaming inside of me and I don’t want to send him back to school there. Can I pull the plug on what they have done so far as I can see what they have done and why they did it for.

They told me that they needed to score him low in order to get him funding but what they did was give him a noose to hang on to you and use when the pressure gets to much for him and he begins to lose his head. There was no more of being accepted for who he was born to be they adorned him with a scarlet letter and pushed him out the door.

Imagine being told to be a fly on the wall as they interrogate your son so that they can have their way. I question their intentions on whether they were honorable or if it was easier to keep my boy out of school so they can have their way. This is my worst fear. I knew that I shouldn’t trust them. How could I allow myself to think that they would ever consider or care about anything that I have seen or even said?

I know this story. It has happened to me. When it was noticed that I was a little different the teachers talked to my parents and they sent me away. I was sent away to shy camp because it was easier that way. A summer away from my friends and family being bullied by the class clown. That is what I remember from when I was 5 now you want my son to be forced to feel the same.

I remember how it feels to be the odd man standing out. It was always easier to ridicule me than to invite me anywhere to play. I was the girl who grew up on the farm who smelled like cow sh*t. I had nothing to say to anybody anymore all I wanted was to disappear and go away.

I know kids can be cruel but now I am forced to witness this behaviour happening to my son. How am I supposed to let him go into this world when I know first hand what the Universe is capable of and how we will spend our lives always fighting for freedom or a chance to fit in.

I am hated for who I am. At least for the way that I portray myself and of course for the way that I look. I don’t want to blend in with a crowd that only wants to hurt me when I can float above their heads. I remember and will always remember the feelings that come over me once that I am dead.

There are those that are so oblivious to the world around them that they don’t care a thing about the things that they have heard or what other people have said. I can’t tell if I want to be around those types of people. I just want to be ok with the life that I have been given so that I can surround myself in sunshine and try to live another day.

There will always be those that have been sent to defeat you and only you can decide if their actions are going to be ok. What I feel is that I am already on guard with my son’s teachers and for the first week of school I am going to have to say that this is not ok. I will not let them take away a his smile like school had done for me. I will spend everyday that I am breathing trying to help him in realizing that he is ok. As his mother I will do everything I can to help him and I will never abandon him so that I can have a better way. I know what it feels like when a parent you love hates you and that is one promise I will keep to my son if I am able to have my say.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s