My heart knows that there are some beings that we just failed. When given the chance to comfort them we just let all the bad energy in. Do you know these people? The people that have fallen between the cracks that we can see no more.

My morning started much as it always does. A hot coffee and a little true crime to remind me just what this world is capable of and to my surprise and horror the Amanda Todd story was on. If you are from Canada, you may have heard about her but if you were in the lower mainland of British Columbia the horror unfolded for all to see.

This is the age where we desire most to be one with the world that if there is going to be something to come in and stunt or development it will be this age group like there will be no more. This is the age my terror happened to me, and I will always maintain the lack of the internet is what saved me. So many of my classmates had no idea what I had lived through, but they would have if being online was even a thing. I have never been so thankful for a dial up modem who would wake my dad up in the early morning hours.

That webcam is scary, and it can do so many things. I remember when I first moved to Vancouver, I left my boyfriend behind in Kamloops to move back in with his mom. Here’s the thing. We used to live together so guess what he had done. He set his computer to remote access mine which meant he could even turn my webcam on. He was reading all my private chat message and he was even spending time to watch me sleep.

Even those we trust the most can turn on us. My boyfriend of 4 years was the one looking into my personal life and history building up a case to use against me. I will never forget the message that I got to one day when I got home. He didn’t have the nerve to call my cell phone, so he called my landline and unleashed a new kind of hell. The words that he was citing I could tell exactly what he had done. I told him that if he had a chance of staying with me, he would have to come clean and stop doing it from here on end.

It didn’t matter that trust was already broken which makes it ironic because we can so easily trust those we don’t even know. A young girl just struggling to make it on their own gets teased and punished relentlessly by other children who should be raised better to watch their weeds before they begin to sow. Oh, my dear Amanda Todd why did life have to treat you that way. If you don’t know her story in her entirety let me show you a link that might try to explain (https://www.cbc.ca/kidsnews/post/b.c.-teen-amanda-todds-abuser-handed-13-year-jail-sentence). I know that hers could have easily been my story the internet just didn’t exist back then, so I get to keep her alive and try to have our say.

I live the live that I live because I want to empower everybody, I want people to know that it is our body, and we should always maintain complete control. That there will be these ugly beings that have been sent to defeat us, but we can’t give them that kind of power even though it feels like we have nowhere to go. In the case of Amanda her school kids tormented her so bad claiming that she didn’t even deserve to breathe air. She drank bleach to try and end all of her problems but luckily for her parents her attempt failed. She told her story to the world wide web and started to feel better. Well until the trolls worked inside her head that day.

Her story is important because I believe that it can happen to any one of us. Why do we trust the ones with no identity like they actually have the ability to save us one day. I think we would have more luck being saved from our ancestors or ghosts but it is far too easy to believe in those that are manipulating the scenery so they can seem righteous and clean.

I share my story to save our children because I too was raped and violated when I was only 13. There may be some pictures or even a video but chances they were all thrown out a long time ago. Probably because the person who tossed them didn’t realize the content. Life was sure different back then. There is no way I could have survived social media as a kid. NO WAY! I walked on pins and needles every day and that was with handwritten notes. I don’t know what I would have done if everybody knew what those notes had to say.

What we allow to happen to our children all under the guise of coming of age. I can’t imagine what it does to the parents who were unable to save their children that day. Can you imagine? Losing your child because of what other children had done because they were laughing at your daughter’s expense. They beat her up and laughed at her every day. She was somebody’s pride and joy until the troll’s decided it was up to them to take her away.

If I could change the minds of our young ones, it is to tell them that they are beautiful and that they will be ok. That you can disengage those that are out to harm you and you can find a way to live for brighter days. Seems easy right? Nah it is incredibly dang hard. In the land of obsessive anonymity and of course the no holds barred.