I wasn’t going to say anything but now I think I have to. I fragmented my mind on edibles and I am not even sure how or why. This had happened to me once before. I ingested way too many pot brownies while babysitting for my sister. To be honest I had no idea there was weed in them and even finished off the tray when I had the munchies. What happened next, I can’t even explain. Where I went I have never, ever been there again. Well up until this Saturday I visited and let me tell you that was all a trip.

So, I have been sick. So sick where I think all my pets are stealing my oxygen. I kid you not there is not enough air in the room, so I am off to get me some more plants. Every nerve ending was on fire, so I stopped smoking cannabis. If you follow me on my Instagram (@missrubysweetcheeks) or my YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT44prvb_o835cQOG327hbQ) you can see over the last few weeks things have slowed. It has been hard to keep up with all my social media handles when I can’t even walk up a flight of stairs. I had to sleep sitting up and by a window preferably. Some nights I was up 5 or 6 times an hour I truly thought and believed I was going to Hell.

I started to feel better just from a lot of rest and TLC. I mean I was having daily Medicine Balls from Starbucks and that seemed to truly help. No dabs. No cannabis. No beloved THC. I was becoming kind of an ornery monster, so I asked the hubby to get some edibles for me. Go big or go home is my motto as I downed half of a 1600 mg Indica pack. Notice I said half here which started this cray *ss journey for me.

There’s a video. You know there’s a video of me going bottom’s up on half of this pack. I filmed it kind of mockingly as we headed out into the city. Thumbs up! Ha. If only I recorded the thoughts in my head. It started with me doing the math. I did the math constantly. Starting with weren’t those fatty patty’s I used to take on 25mg…did I really just take 800? I did the math. 4 times 25 times 8. Nah that couldn’t be right. We pulled up to our first Halloween store and man was I in for such a fright. It started with what the hell is Instagram and do people really follow you who don’t know you. Could that person be following me no that person. I was like ya nah followers ain’t for me. Spin around. Point who the heck are you. I needed out. Keep in mind this was a family trip out which we never have. Send help.

When the husband asked me in the car how many I took I replied with just the one. He said ya but which one you better be careful. Some of those are really HIGH edibles I looked at him and sighed. One look is all it took as he exclaimed look at your eyes. The panic started to set in as we set off for our next Halloween store. Ya that was right before the cops pulled us over. Snazzleberries? Are you serious. The husband what the f*ck? he told me right then that his license was expired and that I would have to drive I think I peed myself right there. Just no registration thankfully so he drove us to the next store. Things weren’t going so well from there. Not even a little bit.

Oh man I wish I could say things got way better but they actually got way worse. I ended up puking all over myself instead of the SUV. All over myself and my fur lined crocs. What the h3ll!! I remember it quite vividly as he happily said let’s check out those set of lights. I looked at him and said I didn’t have that kind of time and that was when the vomit actually started. He was so mad, and I thought I was going to die our poor son. I think my mind was on permanent hiatus because all I needed was to sleep for the rest of the day and maybe the next night or possibly even two.

So now I can’t even write about it because what kind of mom actually does that. I mean I was just desperate to get out of my head for a minute I wasn’t buckled in for the journey I was going to take though. All of a sudden for a split-second life had no meaning in the end and it is true because it never does. All we have is right here in this moment and maybe a little bit of happiness and hope to go along with it.

I feel sad for who society has made us into because all I want to be is a hopeless romantic. I want to find the simplicity in every human being and stop making others feel bad who can never obtain it. To be so superficial and shallow so wound up in our own being no longer makes sense. I truly want to be able to love everybody and that comes from a place of deep understanding and great common sense.