A Sense of Identity

So many people don’t have a clue in who they are. An inkling of who they were born to be. The reason to make one smile when the bad man has more than his fill and say. There are so many beings out there just struggling to make room so that they can breathe, then we have the others waiting at the sidelines hoping for that day when they will get to see you fall.

Do you know why marriages even existed? To act as alliance between families to ensure both parties involved will live to see better days. It is a meeting of all assets to ensure your family life lives on instead of seeing how many tacky baubles one human being can actually consume. Don’t get me wrong, I love our artists in this day and age from every community but if we don’t live in any sort of balance what the heck is this all for?

You think there would be some sort of honour in the way that we conduct our business in how we do things. Think of the other person on the side of the ring that wants to honour their commitment to you even after all this time and they aren’t sure the reason or the what for. It’s kind of like sleeping. You need to know who you are closing your eyes for and if you can even trust them in your house.

Half of everything? That theory has always alluded me. What if one half of the party is the reason why there is no thing left to fight for? Life was never about love and getting your rocks off it has always been about preserving the life line of your beloved fruit. Without the fruit of our labours life and all that has come before us ceases to exist. That is the prophet that was told to us a long time ago but it is easier to live by our own set of standards and myths. I think we need to look at how it is that the marriage has come to be dissolved before we take their words as being grandest and kicking anybody outside of their house.

My whole life all I hear is, “Are you still speaking,” and “Can you get to the point and sum this up?” I don’t know if it is me or if he just hates talking to me so I need to keep to myself and live right by this family. I wonder if that is what took my Grandma early? A sense of becoming too tired of keeping too busy in a thankless house. I mean it couldn’t have been too rewarding, all things considering. Just look at the way my Dad now speaks about her and she was as quiet as a mouse. You could live your live in earnest never hurting anybody and all it takes is one rat left behind to try and ruin your good name. I will never understand why he beetled off and cut off everybody, he must have known is value so he had the good sense to climb underneath a rock.

We can’t deny that we are something poured into these bodies that we wait our whole life times to figure out how to control and manipulate and some of us never get a chance to ever get it to work. I mean where did we come from and how did we even come into being, I think the path that we have come from is very simply and intrinsically laid out. It starts with our DNA, and we are still trying to figure out how to read it. The only thing that we know so far it is very specific to you and me. Not you and me together but there can only be mine just like your DNA is yours. But then it gets a little more complicated.

All of a sudden our DNA links us to who it is that we came from. Our ancestors that walked before us at a time when we weren’t alive, and didn’t even breathe. They say all of us were a cell living inside of our Grandmother’s embryo’s because our Mother’s were already an accepting factor of who they were going to be. Seems complicated doesn’t it? So does the stars and galaxies far up above. Everything has a reason on why it is here and where it is going it is just too many of us are far too busy to look up at the night sky and appreciate all it is we are to be.

I spin openly in the wrong direction because I don’t think I can ever believe in conformity. I dodge the only fans trend of mass deception because I believe there needs to be more secrets kept between you and me. Without holding something back we all become one. Just a cesspool of discombobulated flesh always pulsating and wanting more. I don’t want to live angry anymore because of what happened in my past. I can’t always use it as a crutch to why I am too scared to live in my best image and the reason why I am always fighting for. I give in.

I give in to my higher power that has always tried to guide me but outside voices have always gotten in the way. I know who it is that I want to reflect on the day to day it’s just other people’s inability to understand me and fear has grounded me each and every day. Once you start hearing something on the regular it makes the most sense that some will go mute and just learn to shut up. That is how I feel when talking to my husband so I need to find a way to get that energy to dissolve and let loose into the air. I have to. My piece of mind depends on it and every other fissure of mind that has broken off and decided to take up residence and stay.

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