A Race Lost

Every day is greeted with promise, free of complications just the worry in my heart is what keeps holding me back. I think it is the long time whispers being carried on the breeze that has me kind of hesitant to share what I know and have seen.

I love to learn. Attracted to developing my own path free of judgement and other’s obnoxious opinions. The idea that I need to justify my actions or behaviour is something that gets under my skin and begins to blister and rot. Like a poison cursing voraciously it is hard to see where it is that I am destined to go, sometimes the air is too much that it drags you under at least for a little while until the air begins to clear.

The stronger your will is the more trolls that will come knocking on your door. It is like they believe that they acquire some of your power when they reduce you to tears and sometimes they keep coming back for more. They feed off that energy like no one on Earth has ever before or ever can. It is amazing to see it in epic proportions all in the name of fame and fortune and be recognized by all those that can see.

We forget about the path less travelled on as we ridicule those who might decide to veer a little off course. Why would you stray away from the masses when you can be invincible and lost among a see of people and sometimes more? What happens when your biggest fears are finally recognized and you have nobody who truly cares about you and wants to settle out old scores.

The practice of ritual allows us an opportunity to believe in life we are worthy of all the good things. That we are more than just a magnet of negativity we can be the sunshine that every morning brings. Sure it seems daunting and overwhelming to most but if you can believe that you are worthless then wouldn’t believing in the opposite of that be the next best thing?

Old habits take the longest to finally give up and try something else. Why wouldn’t you try to live a life a little bit more differently if you are tired of always receiving the same old things? Patterns can be broken just like energies from past lives can be harnessed. Do you believe that? Can you believe that?? Can you find a way to look towards them and at least honour them? For all the things that they have brought into your life to help you learn to do the right things don’t you owe it to them to live your best life and find out a way to make your heart sing?

All I want is the basics which I believe I have already been given. It is up to me to interpret the gifts of the Universe instead of cursing every damn thing. It’s hard. As a creature of habitat I have been used to the negativity of the Universe trying to find me now I wonder if it is because I have ignored the gifts that the Goddess of the Universe decided to bring. If we don’t know what to look for how do we know what is even happening?

We don’t do we? We have to be authentic to our own being and stop wondering what everybody else is doing. No matter what they are trying to do or the pain that they are trying to dish out know that you are worthy of a life filled with promise no matter in this lifetime who is privy to it and finds out.

We are all here for a reason and need to be more kind. It shouldn’t matter who is peering around the corner and who in turn might decide to pay a little more mind. We are all on display only as fragile as we allow so why do we make it so another can confine our reality into the deeper pits of hell. Those who are closest to us are the ones we need to pay the most attention to. Think about what happens when the lights are off and what the monsters in some of us will do.

I can’t believe some beings that I have trusted and that I have allowed get close to me. I always consider what they like to talk about when they believe their whispers have fallen among deaf ears. Women sure love their drama and will say anything in certain company just to hear themselves talk. I think it is humorous all things considered when I see two beings acting like besties when I know for a fact how each one feels about each other. Imagine that. The friends you think you have in the shadows when they have fallen asleep.

I never worry about those behind me because I know I am never going back that way. I had my time in the sun now I think I will leave it for the others to enjoy and come out and play. My life’s path has taking me to one as a matriarch. Everything I do is for my family as I pave out a way to try and protect our hearts. Make sure everybody is happy and safe and free to spread their wings when they are ready to fly. That is who I want to be to the beings that I keep around me, singing their praises and cheering them on until the day that I die.

In the light of the morning I feel like I can accomplish almost anything that it’s only when the negativity tries to find me that I begin to think anything differently. It is an uphill battle that we are all constantly faced. I just want to do what I can in this lifetime before I eventually grow tired and lose the race.


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