My promise to myself is that I would write everyday but my new promise to myself was to always put my son and let nothing extracurricular get in the way…at least for now.
Yesterday was a shock. I think it put things into perspective of just how you can no longer trust anyone. I had a pediatrician appointment for my son as a required follow up to his Autism diagnosis that now I am not entirely convinced of.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Doesn’t that seem more fitting than a diagnosis of Autism. Let’s put everything into perspective for a moment. He is 5 years old. A biproduct of a 2-year pandemic now you want to put a label on him that he will carry for at least the rest of his school life if not for all of his years. There is no rush for a diagnosis but there is pressure to get the identification of one right. How can people who barely interact with my son paint such an awful picture? Let me tell you this momma bear is about to come right out of her cave.
I feel validated in my fears knowing the motive and planned out come for my son. I don’t want to regulate our stunt his emotions how could he even possibly grow into who he is meant to be. Drugging my son is not an option until more of his personality shines through and it becomes easier to see. I won’t allow them to define him because of the fights he has witnessed. If anything is wrong with him it’s because of my husband and me .
The more exposure we get to the outside world the more ideas that are presented to us at our table. Did you know there was another diagnosis such as ODD? That seems to be more fitting for my son.
You know why this moment is important? Because it will shape who he is for his life to come. I don’t mind if he is a little bit confrontational from time to time let’s just take our time and get this diagnosis, right. Am I right?
What was presented to me over the phone with the Pediatrician, you see we changed it to over the phone because my son is showing influenza like symptoms, was that he needed to be medicated. Here at 5 years old they wanted to put him on something so his creativity and curiosity would be prevented from ever beginning to flow. The worst part is they went behind my back to have this conversation. Never have I ever heard that they wanted him to be on pills. I think I am angrier because I had a sit down with ALL of them AND his father and not a mention to either one of them that the conversation that they went and had behind OUR backs with OUR doctor.
This goes against what they are telling me that he is a bright little boy with a few little quirks that can be worked out with the right behavioral techniques and a teacher assistant to hone on his skills. It’s also upsetting to me because they have assured me that he is as happy as can be while he is at school but if that is the case why would they insist on having him drugged?
Thankfully we have met the doctor and he felt extremely uncomfortable with how insistent the person from the school was. They made it sound like he wouldn’t be welcome to return to school unless he was easily controlled and now, I am wondering exactly what it is that I am supposed to do. I always knew from the beginning that there was something wrong with them. Did you catch how I said them? They tried to tell me that at 5 years old little boys didn’t know that there was a difference between little girls and that him telling us that he wanted to have a “boy”friend was absurd.
Put yourself in his shoes. 19 little girls and you are the only who is different you have to question your identity and the way of the world just a little bit. They told me know but to my recollection little boys liked to play cops and robbers and little girls like to dress up like princesses and pretend to own unicorns. I was young once and that is how I remember it being for me. Little boys were “dirty” and they carried cooties too. There is a little girl who tells my son she hates him every day. How is he supposed to feel?
All I want is for my son to have an equal opportunity and I don’t think medicating him at this age is the right route for him to go. It’s not fair for him to have his personality stunted and I think that is exactly what drugging my 5-year-old would do. We are our children’s best advocates, and I am just thankful that I am able to stay at home while my son attends school. It gives me a chance to see what is actually happening, don’t you think? Or am I losing my mind? Which these days are very easy to do if you haven’t found yourself losing yourself just take a minute to unwind.
I want to believe that maybe there are good intentions somewhere, but it seems impossible every time I open my eyes. Somebody somewhere is doing something less than favourable and it is our children that will be made to pay the ultimate price. If they had it their way, he would be labeled as a bad apple and in turn probably thrown away. Who has time to figure out the intrinsic working of an overactive brain? Only a child’s mother that is who!
The only person we should trust is our own hearts than everything outside of that you should question. Who else but me would have the best intentions but my son and it does make sense that he is just a number, and they want to keep him that way. If he is deemed a little bit different, then they get to capitalize off of that. See the government likes to fund the schools who deal with these “types” of children, so it is in their best interests to have my doctor on their side. This is what I have been left to deal with on the day to day. The backhanded notion that they want to drug my child so that in the end they can have the final say.