Authentically Yours

We are all weird aren’t we? In some way or another there is something about us that just makes other beings cringe. If we are lucky maybe it is only just one or two am I right? There is no isolating feeling than believing you don’t have a place in this world. Words become complicated because it is a language still so foreign to you that it is hard for you to fully understand and know.

Words have always gotten in the way. They can make two friends become so enraged with misunderstanding that they just may never, ever talk to one another again. Those misunderstandings are what get to me. You almost have to dissect the situation from every single angle just to see who may have been at fault. What a way to live am I right?

I like to wait and see how others react to me. Are they an oil and vinegar situation or are we that special magical herb blend that brings to life every meal with a delectable song. I am that strange being that believes that the right relationships will just happen organically with just a little love and nutrients to help that loving bond develop and move itself along.

It is impossible to assume that somebody should do ALL the work to be one’s friend that there has to be a little give from each side in order for it to work. Even in situations that appear to be one sided you can see the bountiful payoff when that relationship finally does come to an end. Think about the loving relationship between a plant and a human, you may think that the plant gives off nothing but work for the human to engage in and do. What a narrow mind will see is a plant that just sits there basking in the sun waiting for water not the infinite amount of pleasure and oxygen that the plant gives off for the whole world to see. Some plants give off fruits, flowers, scents, remedies everything to enhance our own living experience yet we still only regard them as a finite means to an end. Imagine if we treated them with tender loving care with song, treats and even occasionally trimmings just how much bountiful what they produce will actually be.

The same could be said for our pets. They just sit there taking up space and spending our money. Our cats alone are on the finest vet food money can buy and we have 9. They see each cat needs a minimum of 15 minutes of individualized attention, I know right? What vet did the research to determine that. The point is we all need our time to feel like we are the most important being in the world and that includes our pets. If you put your pets onto a pedestal and give them love and attention like a living, breathing being deserves they will pay you back with so much love in spades.

When I am having a bad day its my pets who aren’t scared to comfort me. They flock to me in droves and its so overwhelming at times. The dogs get scared put the cats are like, here let me heal you. Did you know that it is believed that a cat’s purr is the exact frequency that one needs to heal? My original Todd is the one that is always there when I need him kind of serving as a reminder of what we been through. There is something so reassuring about a pet that just instantly lowers my blood pressure and puts my mind at ease.

So now I am intrigued. I don’t like to share too much because I am scared of being labeled as weird. I love being the center and lifeblood of my family I just wish I had all the time in the world to do more. I know that this house has become my temple and I haven’t treated it as such. I let my anger take over me and defiantly decided to curse the world. How could you do this to me I would yell but in the end the answer would always be the same. Silence. No inkling of what I did wrong or if it was ever going to change so I kept the story going believing the ending was never going to change.

The ending can change if you allow it to be written so and not be too scared to take a chance. If I prevent sharing all of me it is my family that will pay the ultimate price when I leave this land. What I love about social medial is it is a snapshot into our day. Little moments in time captured that nobody in this world could ever have a chance of taking away. I like the idea that if I ever came back to this world maybe I could find out who I used to be. I think that is why it becomes so important to be authentic because it gives somebody the chance in the future to actually get to know me. Get to know who I was and the story I lived in the chance it will make you life better in some sort of way.

So I hold back my weird out of fear of what strangers might say even though I might never know them and that may be horrible to say. Be mindful of you and yours and try to see the simple that comes out of life. We don’t have to have everything in this moment but happiness is something that will always be available to us. No matter how hard we try to banish this fact the only thing that is forever is the one thing that we can never take back and I am not sure how I feel about that. I could keep living a lie and not share who it is I am becoming on the inside but the only thing that keeps happening is my authentic self is starving and dying.

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