Coming of Age

You have to be strong enough in your own reserve to have a sense of your own self worth. Not what others want you to believe but what you know in your heart to be true.

You can tell when begin to journey down the wrong direction because there will be a level of resistance that will great you as you find yourself down the wrong path. Nobody wants you to realize your own truth more than the upcoming darkness that is why it is beneficial for some to pick their feet up and run away from it as fast as they can.

Seems easy doesn’t it. Run towards the things that feel good and simply avoid the things that don’t. The problem with that sort of thing is the law of attraction that has us running towards the things that feel good even though we know that chances are it is going to end up incredibly bad.

That’s ok right? Until it isn’t. We have to be careful of those we decide to shun from our lives. We never know who is out there watching and who can be offended so doing onto others as we would wish have onto ourselves is one of the best mottos we can live by in this day and age. How would it feel if the tables were turned would you be ok with having the same things done onto you? Do you like being rejected for expressing who you were born to be or maybe it is because you are living somebody else’s truth?

I am guilty of always looking for outward validation but I am not about that life where I compromise my own self worth. I still value who I am and who I hope I will one day be so I have to surround myself with like minded individuals who are also searching for their own truths. People who value their own essence just move differently. Even though life throws curves at them they still have a sense of who they are meant to be. Sure it hurts at times when we are meant with opposition and those who would rather call us a conquest but hold onto that eternal flame inside that refuses to blow out and just glows.

I am happy to say that I am eccentric. My days are filled differently than most others could ever believe. I need to slow down and enjoy my surroundings that don’t need to be diluted by any outside being. There is a calmness that comes in knowing why you are here that brings life into focus. No matter what evil stands in your way to try and oppose you, you have to dig deep enough so that your essence can finally be heard.

Being different means you aren’t scared to dare to live your life a little differently. You know that risk that comes with not being the person inside of you that needs to be able to let go. To stop being weighted down by everything around you that keeps happening to you, you have to truly have faith and begin to believe. Seems easy don’t it. I wish that it was so. There are so many things around me that I just wish I could let go but I get scared. I wish I had an idea what happens to us after life has been taken. I think it might be easier for me to finally get along.

Get along with myself and accept my true path is something I am going to focus on in 2023. That it is ok to find salvation in my own home that others will never be able to accept or believe. I don’t need to go out and lose my memories having drinks. I used to live that lifestyle and looking back it wasn’t for me. The nights out until daybreak then going to work with very little sleep. The Rockstar lifestyle once you lived it and survived it will be something that will start to haunt your dreams.

No good ever comes out of the cover of darkness does it? Looking back, all things considering that is when the demon inside of most of eyes has the courage to finally begin to wake. Evil will cast a shadow that will make it almost impossible for anybody to just walk away and leave. The haunting memories that follow you make sure that you will never go back but they will begin to compromise your truest intentions making it impossible to believe that you are worthy of a life full of promise and with that even happiness.

There is a constant battle inside of me that is telling me what to do. It’s a confusing timing that’s for sure not knowing entirely what to do or who to trust. Who to keep close and yes that means who should I push away. There is no need to keep all this energy around you that serves no purpose. Especially when it is an entity that wishes nothing more than for you to just go away. You know the types. The ones that just hang around wishing for you to fail. You can’t keep that mentality around you because eventually it will begin to seep into your entire being. You will begin to believe all the nasty things that are going around being said about you because if that is all that is said about you what else can one really believe.

That is where I am weak. When I had a chance to fully believe in me I was left broken and I dared not to dream. Kind of like survival mood. I think that is where I feel like I can help. My teenage heart wishes that no other girl would ever have to endure a coming of age like me. That there is still value in being innocent and believing that happy endings can still come true.

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