What I think is absolutely incredible is all the things that we as humans refuse to believe. Take for example, all the things that we take for granted and then all the secrets that lay dormant inside of us that we refuse to let others partake in and see.

Let’s talk about social medial for second. How is that with billions of people out there we still think that one person holds the key to realizing our dreams? Everyday there is so much whining and complaining over deleted or blocked content that it is time we take a step back and realize what has become mainstream. One person can’t get controversial posts down or an account taken away. It would take more than one or two complaints for Instagram to take notice. In fact I don’t think anybody actually works in the Meta home office. This should be alarming to those who get their security in this way.

I am not a prude. When it comes to extreme controversial content I just unfollow and go on my way unless I think that it might be harmful to others. My mornings are the same. I like to blog, read, edit, check my socials, you know all the things that need to get done before the rest of the house is awake. The annoying thing about lives on Instagram is that they are always just a click away. How many times have you tried to check your messages and you found yourself clicking onto somebody’s live?

It happens all the time right? Except for this morning. I saw a naked man with a handful of a woman’s hair calling her names as she was sucking him off. This was in the morning. Before I even had a cup of coffee. I am for freedom of expression but this, this was a little upsetting. Remember me? I grew up being abused and raped. This was not something I wanted to see as soon as I was getting up. Violent sex is not something I ever wanted to see all things considering it was engrained already and a part of me.

So normally I would just block and walk away right except for this man was quick on the trigger. He locked eyes with me as he waved at me and everything inside of me just started to feel sick. Nah, this couldn’t be right and there was a chance that the woman was being forced against her will. It is so hard to determine what is consensual nowadays with so many people over confident and willing to get their sick fill.

Is it art that makes us want to glorify another pains. What about the imagery in our minds and heart that will never quite go away? Have you ever had to walk through Downtown Vancouver with your dress in tatters and you were covered in blood? How about all the people that just looked at you like you were faking even though you were desperate for help. I remember some even commenting that they should look at that one on her walk of shame.

To me the very idea that two people could be on a live engaging in sex was just alarming to me. I know that Instagram is supposed to have security measures in place because let’s face it there are minors who can access almost any page so this violent display of activity was very offensive to me so I felt I had no choice but to report it. Instagram’s automated response that they were engaging in normal everyday activity. It was nudity and violent sex. To each their own I suppose but to me that tells me only one thing. No account actually gets looked at unless their is an uproar to do so which means not one or two need to be offended it would be a whole community demanding that it is to go.

I would like to believe that things might have changed. What I know for certain is that they seem very set in their ways. If something is generating a buzz and they are paying for content then they don’t want to severe their income so they turn a blind eye. The best way to do this is to pretend like nothing is wrong until it hits you squarely in the face. Think about it. It has to be that way. There are far too many accounts to be micro managed for any of them to truly be taken away.

I think it becomes incredibly important to try and represent who you are. How can somebody say that you have violated your existence when given the opportunity they blatantly refused to come out and play. The very fabrication of the lies that are conjured up so they don’t take the blame is more than enough to have anybody come running towards an early grave. At least for me it is.

The constant worry about whether or not my latest reel or post will be liked is something that I wish would just go away. I create content because I like to capture a mood or essence that is me that I get blindsided by what others do and perceive. Why do I need validation from a stranger when there is a chance we will never meet and they will never know who I am. What if the person I am trying so hard to impress doesn’t exist and I find myself even more broken from this place in which I stand?

One day at a time right? One moment. One minute. Try to be appreciative of what is happening right in front of you instead of trying to predict what is coming. Whatever it is you fear the most will soon be coming and on it’s way. There is nothing wrong with that energy in the moment it is just the demons that have finally won and have decided to come out and play.