Middle of the day thoughts are the worst I find because my thoughts are just scattered. What I thought I would be writing about at 3 am I am no longer and I don’t know if I should feel bothered.

A part of me wants to talk about bringing the magick back into ones life like we used to believe in when we were kids. I remember getting lost in the forest just across the road from where we grew up and there was a time when we found ourselves being chased by coyotes too. Sure it was scary but there was enough of us around that nothing too terrible would have happened. See coyotes are kind of cowards they run in packs. They rely on the herd mentality of the others.

One of our friends watched their lil pup run after a coyote once while he was perched high on a tree. They come one at a time looking for one, possibly too and that is truly the feast that they were hoping they would find. One on one I think most of us would go toe to toe but if there was a hang we would turn and hold down our heads. There is nothing quite like a coyote swarming as what you can find in humans and the sound of it is something so sinister and very depraved. A coyote pack sounds like an evil laughing pack of kids. Kind of like they dare you to come on over there just so you can see how life on the other side of the fence lives.

This I know. I grew up on a farm. You could tell where they were and what they were doing just by the sound of their laugh. They are a very remarkable species and I feel sorry for them at times. Especially when you see them out running around on the streets because we have pushed them to be this close because we destroyed their habitat and what it is they were to eat.

I am pretty sure life was not meant to live like this. So rude, crude and over bearing. Why would we want to try and destroy the essence and beauty of another living, breathing being. I don’t want to say human because even some humans are not created equal and they are definitely not the same. Look at the ones who headed so much hatred like Mussolini or Saddam Hussein. There are more dictators that were off to wipe out entire species just look what is going on in the world now.

It’s absolutely incredible what other humans can do. That is how you know that there has to be goodness and there has to be evil. That some of us will be light and others will be darkness and that in the end there should be some sort of penance for the life we received and the life that we had to life through because some of us are born lucky and some are born struggling with our heads beneath the sand.

Why does a young child deserve to be molested by a family member none the less. That never happened to me but it happens very often and then there are the children who get starved and the ones who get beat. They get kept out of the school system and all they know is hate. Through no fault of their own they were born into a life of horror and one of sheer terror so where is the lesson we needed to learn when a life so innocent was forced to endure so much pain?

Of course there are identity crisis’s because in a previous life we were ripped away from who we were meant to be. The evil won and made it’s way on to infect us and I am not quiet too sure just exactly when he just may get his fill so I may just be on my way.

See what I am saying about afternoon thinking I have no idea what it is that I am thinking because my thoughts were not quite ready for such intimate thoughts in the middle of the day. I like to hide a lil by the darkness of the wee hours of the morning when my thoughts aren’t so exposed by a world that is so wide awake.

A few coffees in my anxiety is in high over drive thinking about the overnight vacation my husband is just about to take. Have I mentioned he just told me about this on Tuesday and finalized it today. Like I told him his actions speak louder than any words could ever say. I am trying my hardest to shut off my emotions from trying to take control and get the best of me. I don’t want to respond anymore to somebody who is so absent from my life.

When somebody draws a line that I am only allowed to speak to him when the words I utter add value to his life I think I knew right then it was over and he didn’t even consider me his wife. How gross are those words and to hear them even more so. I think that is why I am so focused and determined to be somewhat successful because I always have somebody like him who is always throwing something in my face.

Just wait until I tell you want happened next it is a testament to the Universe is listening and trying to help. In order for it to make sense you would have to be here from the beginning and it all started with one highly obnoxious, celery smelling root. Ya. In spells and witchcraft the osha root is one that is popular and that is the one that was growing outside of my kitchen window threatening to over take my house lol I can’t find it anywhere right now and there it was making my back hurt this summer as I dug it up not knowing what it was. When I started doing my research do you know it aides in inflammation and breathing….exactly what is wrong with me now. Wink. Wink.