What does it mean to feel woke truly? What would you do today to live your life differently if all of a sudden you found yourself awake? Would you tread lighter trying to reduce your impact or would you carry on as you have always done not giving a damn.

I was born in 1979. Why this becomes important is because I need for you to try and understand what is going on inside of my brain. Now what happened 46 years ago prior to that day where I came into life and took my first breath well depend on who you ask and who you determine worthy enough to believe.

I majored in history straight out of high school. It was a passion of mine since I laid my eyes on my first decrepit house. There is something about imagining the glory of what something used to be instead of destroying it and erecting a monstrosity for all the eyes to see. What I studied was Canadian history with a sprinkling of Spanish American literature sprinkled in just to even things out. I wanted to know this country that I have come to inhabit and maybe some other sort of information too.

What they don’t tell you is how they only share with you the events that they need you to believe. Who knows what they erased from our books throughout history just so they can take away our free will. Imagine that. The horror stories that survived are the ones they wanted you to hear maybe so that it scared you enough so that they could always keep you in control.

The Holocaust received an honourable mention in my history books in high school. I had no idea that one man was in charge of doing something so horrible. One man determined your worth and whether or not you were worthy of life or if you were sentenced to die. This punishment didn’t escape any man, woman or child during that time.

Who was your ancestors and who were you born into?  They didn’t take into consideration how this was not your fault at all. Imagine the entities that were taking away from us too early. Imagine the wealth of information that died along within them when there presence was lost onto this world. How can you smudge this amount of evil that systematically removed almost 6 million people away from the world?

It is estimated that maybe 200,000 people with disabilities were euthanized which makes me ask the question what all this was for? I understand the pretense being that they were looking for this elite race of super humans but whom are they determined who is privy enough to live in this world. If you were born into this world it is because a greater entity than you deemed you worthy enough to be here. To teach us all a lesson about what it means when we become human instead of blankly staring into the coldest of worlds.

I don’t believe that I am fully woke yet, there is still so much to see and learn. I know that I am closer to my eyes being open then I was yesterday and that is something that I can confidently say. There is something to be said about seeing life through the eyes of a child that will stop your heart from beating so that you always feel wide awake.

I don’t want to miss a moment living through his eyes. I love the way it feels when I am the reason that laughter escapes his lips when his belly becomes full. The way his head throws itself back as his lips grin from ear to ear I know that I am right in this moment and I think that gives me a sense of revelation that I have been waiting forever to feel and hear.

I used to get so distracted by the outward presence of the rest of the world. There was a time when I was so focused on trying to be outwardly beautiful now I have completely lost myself at times and I have forgotten the words that I am trying to say.

I have slowed down my concept of time as I try to get the most out of every minute. I know that the one thing that I have no control of whether or not I am winning or losing is time and that I think is the one common denominator that drives us all insane. Is there enough time to get everything done that our heart desires or do we truly begin to lose ourselves in the hustle and bustle of this world.

Too numb to gather or senses we forget who we truly are. We have to travel back to a time when there are those voices that we remember…the ones that truly care enough if we live to appreciate another day. Nothing compares to that smile that comes from a being that loves you that you will have no choice to hold onto as you try to hold onto brighter days.

Why do we have to try so hard to find somebody who likes us? I think if we are forced to try so hard then we are chasing the wrong beings. Those that want to shower you with happiness and accolades are the ones that have always been there since you had darker days. I know it is hard to see who has always been there when we have tear filled eyes. They are the ones that have always kept their arms outstretched waiting to hug you and hold onto you until you are feel better and able to go on in your own way.

They don’t even get mad if you don’t say much in their presence. Even if you just show up to get mentally recharged. The right type of beings are just happy to know you and your existence instead of trying to pervert the definition of life and what it could all mean.