Are you cautious? Cautious in the sense that you are aware of those beings that you allow to come close to you. When people are close you allow them access to your energy and other sacraments you keep close. In those moments when they appear friendly the world is all good but wait until your back is turned then you will find out their true intentions and exactly what they had in store.

I am very aware of my surroundings and everything that one would say just to get off. Some of these beings just turn my stomach and I will move Heaven and Hell water just to never have to see them again.

I will always maintain that as a survivor of domestic abuse we all need to bound together. There is something to be said to having our self esteem destroyed in such a way. When we see another woman or being put into a similar situation we want to scream and shout until we scare the bad man away but then there are some people who want to call out the victim with little to no regard on whether or not they were brainwashed.

This one last encounter just curdled my stomach. I had to listen to all the way that this woman’s ex girlfriend was anything less of a woman even though from the outside eyes looking in you can see how much she was trying. It didn’t make sense to me if you had already moved on why you would want to be the one who is left carrying all this drama along?

I felt sorry for the ex’s girlfriend who did nothing wrong. All she did was fall for the Prince Charming and I think if we were being real we could all see that we would have all been doing the same. This is what makes me not identify with being human. I couldn’t imagine destroying another being so that I could take them out at that knee. All of our beloved children become collateral damage as they watch their parents fighting for the whole world to see.

I am all about compassion and sympathizing but that kind of energy is earned and not just expected or over due. I would rather be alone than waste my time in the company of just anybody I hate being around those that are just existing so that they can settle an old score.

They are there and they are the cruelest type of people they don’t care who they hurt as they begin their rise to the top. Everybody and everything becomes collateral damage as they flash their devilish grin and wiggle the assets they think they have. To me energy is everything and it glows like a beacon when you don’t have it in you to shine. I can see people and their intentions and there is nothing self righteous about them so I keep myself moving along.

I firmly believe that you become your surroundings so why would I want to become toxic when I know that I don’t have to become? I think if you heard all the stories and lies told about you too, you would turn and run there is nothing self satisfying about learning how other people feel and exactly what they said.

I won’t be friends with the mean girl. There has to be a level of self respect required in order to draw me in. What are the things in life that are important to you or are you just wasting time until it is your time to get off?

I think it is the lies told that keeps me away from people because I can feel that level of deceit that happens when others have become impure. Using anything and everything they can in their general vicinity nothing is holy enough to be able to withstand their wrath.

My eyes are wide open as my heart begins to close itself off. I think to my future and where it is that I hope to be going so it is a brainer when I begin to cut the rest of the world off. Some words that are spoken I just can’t believe, I think that is the biggest difference between you and me. I used to believe in the goodness that was alive in each one of us until their evil was all that I could see.

So after everything I have seen and all the feelings I was force to feel I became cautious. With heightened senses I looked at the world more aware as I knew the only thing I could do was close myself off. What else could one do? With so many wolves wearing sheep’s clothing it was the only thing that made sense so that is what I decided to do.

Think about those around you and what is it in life that they chose to celebrate. Does it align with your moral’s and not come with such a personal price tag or cost? The greatest example I can give to this is how I feel about my plants and animals. Another human being would have to appreciate the time and energy it takes in keeping a happy house. I gave up my whole life for what lives within these four walls and I am happy to do so no matter what the price. Some people would not be able to relinquish control in this way. There are a lot of things that I can’t do now that I have so much life living here.

I don’t expect the world to fully understand this but maybe appreciate a little how it is that I have decided to live my life. I would rather live a life where I wasn’t already uptight and incredibly cautious living like Snow White in a meadow where I would rarely have to talk or justify what I think feels right.