A Chapter in My Story.

I must have been sent down in the wrong body because I can’t get this thing called life to work. I am so polluted by others short giving’s that I let all this negativity swirl around me so that I have no say. Maybe I don’t want to have a say as I spin on my heels and forget about where it is that I want to go so I go nowhere. If I can sit here in this moment and perfect it I think I would before tomorrow is just a whisper away.

Do others understand that the lies that they keep telling each other plays a pivotal role on how you treat one another? Every morning I wake up wanting to be nice until I realize that most people are waiting for my demise. Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones but what if throwing stones is the only piece of sanity I have left? Why do I have to sit back and take a seat and partake in the monsters that be when I have been running in one spot tirelessly trying to break free.

I can’t pretend like I am ok with the lies people tell and the animals that they hurt. I can’t believe that there are beings out there that believe these entities are lower than dirt. My animals are anything but a waste of space as I work my fingers to the bone trying to understand their place during my timeline.

Every species has their own desires but in the end they all boil down to be about the same. We all need food, shelter, water, a warm place to lay our head and if the Universe deems us worthy of a little of compassion I think I will take a dose of that instead.

Imagine a world that stops putting their selfless desires ahead of everybody that they know. Nothing drives a wedge faster between two people then all the lies that go unsaid. Call it a feeling or a woman’s intuition but nobody pulls the wool over my eyes not in this lifetime, not ever again.

I know I am living in the wrong body because nothing makes sense. I don’t relate to anybody that is human so I hold my head down instead. Imagine an existence where you don’t feel like you are the only one? I know it seems like an impossibility but it is how I have always felt. I feel like I am not meant to have a life partner in the traditional sense with all these animals in my care taking their place.

Is it safe to say it here but humans suck. If given the chance to lie, cheat and steal there are not many who could ever give it up. Why lie about the basics that are going to play out online. Once you expose me to your true colors I can’t run away fast enough and slam the door goodbye.

If you ever want to see if somebody is on your side call them out and watch how they lie. Can they hold their own in the filth that they created or do they drown in a sea of brown and die? Some can’t handle the truth as they start throwing shade every which way. If they can’t get the spotlight off of themselves quick enough they will even sell their family out to dry.

Maybe is that why I chose to gravitate towards animals because they are incapable of being able to talk back? I don’t believe so. Animals can be quite ferocious when they want to be. Not every animal is accepting of their owners and sometimes true bonds can take some time.

Aren’t we are own entities with our own voice, thoughts and peace of mind so why should anybody in our lifetime be able to take it all away? They try. Oh do they ever with every full swoop and manipulation of the mind. It’s almost like you can tell when they are coming based on the lack of their expression on their faces and their lack of concept of time.

If I don’t want to live in a world like this can I create a world that to me is more suiting? A life full of life and promise with everybody within the same walls rooting. Don’t we only win when we all win so why do we insist on leaving anybody behind. The way we act when we believe that nobody is looking should be regarded as the ultimate crime.

If I am not really in control how do I appear like I am? Do I measure my insanity by the tasks that I get done? By the cleanliness of my house? How my baby is fed? And Heaven forbid how I get along with my husband? These are all the things that make me human but when our spirit moves on will be the first things I forget. What is the point in this life to keep on living when there are so many things out there making us upset?

Isn’t nature wonderful? All the sounds, colours and comforts that Mother Earth provides. So why are we so selfish in our handling of her and when will this so called life that we are living begin to make sense? We paved paradise and put in a parking lot and other cement entities that are designed to block out the sun and fill up the sky. Why does nothing green grow in the cities any longer? I think the answer to that question we keep deep down inside.

Imagine a world where instead of throwing trash and cigarettes on the ground we go ahead and pick up other’s trash and throw it out. We don’t abandon the pet that we no longer want but seemingly open our front door and letting them run out. The heartbreak that this world is met with each day is enough for me to say I have finally had enough but in this moment I am these animals guardian and forever protector and that is a chapter in my story that I never want to give up.


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