Small Town Girl

You know what they say. You can take the girl out of the small town but you can’t take the small town out of the girl, hence why I live this way. If the Universe wasn’t going to grant me my wish of living my days out on a farm I guess the best that I can do is bring that farm life to me.

I heard something the other day that just hit differently. “My service to animals will always be non negotiable.” I feel that, my whole soul resonates that and I think that I demand the people around me to feel something similar or maybe even the same.

I love them too much to late anything else bad happen to them and I don’t think I could ever expect the majority of the world to ever understand. How can we cast aside our whole future to stay in one place? Well I ask you…how can you sell out your pet’s future so that you can move around?

The way we chose to break our pets speaks volumes for who we are as people. Don’t we know the first step into becoming a serial killer is the slow meticulous torture of a beloved pet? What do you think happens to our family member when we abandon them for no reason and send them to jail. You can see their heart break, it’s written all over their face all so you can go on that vacation of your dreams or heaven forbid stay around the house and just be a complete waste of skin.

I can’t even look up how many pets are set to be euthanized. I can’t handle this idea that they are sentenced to an outcome that was never even their fault. The fear of outliving the novelty that one has acquired is something that doesn’t sit well in my brain.

My small town heart tells me to save them all. When you are this far deep into it what is the problem with one more? That’s what I keep telling myself as I quickly take a side eye to all the people who don’t care.

Have you been to your local shelter yet? All the babies crying because they don’t understand what is happening. One minute I was curled up with my mom in a bed and the next thing that I knew well this is my own living version of hell. I can’t imagine the ones that find themselves living in a kill shelter. All the sounds and anguish that come from those that are already broken threatens to break me in a way that I will never heal from or come back.

Who can remember the guy who was allergic to cats and tried to get me to get rid of Lucy and Todd lol What were you thinking asking such a ludacris thing especially after the fact we were only dating for about a month. Imagine if I chose him over them. He was literally gone the next day. Not because I said no because he was a douche bag. He was a free loader of the worst kind so I was glad when he showed his true colors and it became time for him to leave.

I am a small town girl which makes me loyal to a tee. Well that is until the day that you try to put one over on me. Even at times my emotions have me feeling lower than dirt I still know what I am fighting for and I avoid those that are always trying to hurt.

All I want is a simple life where I can care for all the animals that their owners have forgot. I wish I could take on more in my life but this financial situation is leaving me a little strapped hence why I keep throwing in my towel creatively. I want to try and provide for my family and my animals in any way that I can. Me and my life aren’t catching on though. I can’t say for certain whether or not I am actually surprised.

On the grander scheme of things I am just a girl struggling to get through life. I wish to be loved and unconditionally accepted but even I know the realism behind this is anything but kind. With so much going on in the world I don’t even know where I fit in. I haven’t been this disoriented in awhile, not since I was a kid.

My small town heart always points in the direction of home. I long for a simpler time that is more forgiving in nature. One that has me comforted by my old home memories instead of always wondering where it all went wrong. I never imagined this future with no family or childhood friends in it but I guess that is what has pushed me to make it along this far.

With nobody to look out for or watch to see if they made it through the fire I keep going at it alone. I remember the hills and mountains that came alive with promise in the wee early hours of every morning all bringing with it the promise of a new day and song.

I am a small town girl naïve in nature but all the things exposed to me has made me wise beyond my years. I would never wish it upon my worst enemy to see the things that I have seen or to felt the pain that I have felt these kind of emotions aren’t privy to just anybody. I have been exposed to what the evil inside of each one can do and every time it happened I dug deep into my heart to try and find my home. The evil that some believe is entitled to them is alarming to me and that is why I keep on eye open when I finally decide to fall asleep.


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