As I hold my breath and watch you, you leave your seat and take flight. Like an angel returning to the Heavens, all I see is your light. How I wish I could fly one more time with you and tell you how sorry I am. I am sorry I failed you and your life was taken to soon. My heart won’t forget you. We will always have recess and you can meet me at the swings, ontop of the monkey bars where the lonely ol bluebird sings.
There are so many thoughts going through my head in any given moment. Right now my face is on fire. I feel sick to my stomach. So many emotions. So many feelings all swirling around. My energy feels electric and even now my skin feels prickly and hot to touch. Maybe it is hormones and…
My guilt eats away at me knowing that in my younger years I was the very toxic pollution that I have now come to hate. Maybe that is why it has become important to me to open up my life. My life in all it’s plain and basic splendor actually help me to understand who it is I am supposed to become. It isn’t for a lack of trying or misunderstanding but a veil of doubt and insecurity that haunts me.
In my dream like haze I think about the possibilities. All that is, was and can be. To imagine a World where your life sings from the moment you wake to the moment you rest your head. Imagining such bliss gives one hope and resilience moving into each other. It isn’t so much about the…
Everything that we are gets boiled down to how we best utilized our time. But in the end. In the very end everything that surrounds us and all that we know eventually return back to nothing. All that struggle and everything we sacrificed to prolong the inevitable eventually finds us
Reflections in time are like song of the future. You are never to sure of their existence. You want to believe in all that there is. All that is possible and all that can be. That is the beauty and mystery of life isn’t it? To go to your natural limitations then try to push through. Don’t you want to exceed on the person you were from yesterday or do you just want to do what some have before you and just let the natural course of life slide through your fingers. There is no time like the present. You will never be younger more youthful then you are in this moment.
I knew it would take time to adjust to each others habits and likes. Some days though there just seems to be a genuine lack of appreciation for all that I do. Those days make me drag my feet a lil longer. I still get it done because it boils down to a sense of pride for me and a sanitary environment for my son.
The end goal of life is death so what is it we are supposed to be doing with all the stuff in between. We are constantly having these curveballs thrown at us that distract us from where we are going. When you feel on top of he World the Universe kicks you down a notch or too and says uhmmm ya there is no such thing as an easy life.
I am a functioning empath. My whole insides can be ripped into shreds but there is always a time and place. I usually like to cry alone because I don’t want to upset anybody else. Maybe because it is in that pain that I know came great love. In the memory of my friend who lost his way I want to reach out to those that are at their lowest. Yes I don’t know you. But I do love you. We get to walk and live this great Earth at the same sliver in time. I don’t want to make your journey harder I want to make it better. I want to inspire you to find the way to live your greatest life possible. That no matter who you are you are worth it even in those moments of greatest despair.
I stand on top of the cliff looking down at the water beating furiously on the rocks below. Reaching my hand into my pocket I feel the envelope cold in my hands. I want to take it out again but can’t. The words written on the envelope I sent in a red scrawl taunting me…