All I want to do is share my story in the most creative of ways and help others learn to love themselves and be mindful of what it is they say. Maybe not to others just always speak the truth. I am talking of being kinder to yourself no matter who it is you find who has entered the room. Life is meant to be lived happy and the more we listen to those on top the further we will go and the more life will seem to slip away. Suicide rates and depression are sky rocketing and it is because in essence we are made to feel like we can never measure up. I know I have struggled with who it was I wanted to identify with. There are those that I wanted to believe in that made it so tough.
How can you keep focused on joining the world on your terms and not getting carried away with what other people are doing or even what it is they are trying to say. Everybody has an opinion and everybody is entitled to say that they know themselves best but it is those over zealous, self righteous beings that trying to corrupt the rest of us so that we too are thinking the same way. That type of control is dangerous and prevents us from having a free mind. Just look at all the ways the government has been sent to control us keeping it so that we will never have our day. Taxes, oh the taxes with the majority of what is being collected paying an astronomical wage. I get it. Trust me I do. We need to send our world leaders to come together so they can perfect together how to blow the most smoke out of everybody’s *sses. I think it is our politicians who carry the most diseases just like the rats of the bubonic plague.
That is what Hollywood and mainstream media needs you to believe. If you aren’t getting off then there is something wrong with you. You must be crazed, baked or badly damaged to live a life that not many others are used to. I get that and I think about that a lot. The whole concept of value. What is the point on connecting with so many beings when you can’t take all these beings and connections with you? Focus on what is important and that is what is closest to your heart. The ones who gave you this chance to come alive and explore the living and maybe some good health. I am just a housewife with family morals that still reach me from far beyond the grave. If you believed your ancestors were good people wouldn’t that be enough to make you want to behave?
So what have I done? Have I gone insane? I am not sure entirely but I know I want to live happy and for my family to feel the same. What I have is a desire to draw out other’s ability to love themselves by looking in the mirror a different way. Instead of looking at all the scars, wrinkles and grey hairs why not look to nature as it does the same. We can all age together while we look at ourselves as living art. Keeping a tidy home and a perfectly paired outfit while loving on your children and husband as he goes to work. I want to live in the image like my Grandmother did because I love her so much even to this day. I don’t want her to look down at me with any regrets and I want her to know that I still honour her to this day. I do so with my love of Color Street by helping other woman fall in love with their hands. And of course I am love with being a housewife who is collecting a paycheck, helping out my family any way that I can. Check out my latest Color Street video at https://youtu.be/8j2JZCiP3Kg and make sure to like and suscribe xx
I for one spend so much time trying to make everybody around me happy that it has been a lot of hard work and forgiveness to keep on trying to put myself first. Do you agree or disagree? Truly, there are those we speak of who we say where their hearts on their sleeves that we don’t seem to taken aback when they meet they own demise. Why is it we are so quick to offer a stranger hospitality when it has become more than apparent all they are to us are lies. What would you sacrifice in order to keep another being happy? Would you allow for another being to take your own life? How about your friends? Then finally your parents? That is what happened to one teenage girl when she met a boy in person for the very first time. She put this strange boys feelings ahead of her own fears and insecurities then this sick twisted individual finished them all off with an ax.
So once again I think why dilute my self worth with these humans that would rather keep taking than keep an even score. Be kind to others as you would hope they would be to you. Return the favour as much as you can and be on your way if you find yourself in a position where you no longer can. I am aware of the hands I tried to feed that in return decided to bite me and of course those beings who wouldn’t feed me when I was down and out and pour.
This family only notices when it comes to tearing my heart out and watching me bleed. I can`t win for trying and it is starting to pull me from every which way. Sure it shouldn`t matter so much the opinion of fools but do they always have to stand around waiting to see if I fall?
Now try and not get confused by this life I have decided to live. I don’t like wasting my money to indulge in another’s heightened curiosity of me or how they believe I should be. Maybe I am a THC addict or maybe it shouldn’t matter so much as long as I am minding my own business and all my bills are getting paid. You never see my hand out asking for nothing, not even a hang out. I don’t care to be around those that are just trying to even the score. When I used to have friends I told them all my truths so it was very clear, I never needed another being trying to hold who I am against me. I am tired of living that way and I won’t no more.
Sure it’s been a roller coaster ride but I am much more closer today to speaking my own truth. I know what it is I want to accomplish, somewhat, and I set up some means to begin to obtain it. I am still in love with self care and that we should all be committed to feeling our best. In fact I have been trying to start up a YouTube around my life where I share with y’all the ups and the downs. Check it out (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT44prvb_o835cQOG327hbQ). Make sure to subscribe if you make it that far and tell me all the Sweet Ruby things you want to see!!! Putting yourself out there is hard so I keep trying to reinvent myself. If the shoe fits wear it! And if it don’t find a stiletto you can rock out on! Stand tall with your head high and tell others to get out of your way!! BEEP BEEP!!
What defines us from being human or a true monster is how we treat those closest to us in our inner fold. You might think you are surrounded by friends but just wait to see how infested those waters become when you find that your backs are suddenly turned. Sharks can’t control the way they behave when they get a scent of blood. They become enraptured killing anything and everything they come into contact with never thinking of the consequences just trying to get their fill. I wonder if at times they think if they could live a life more peaceful instead of living a life of a predator forever instead. Imagine not being born a killer but in the end having to be one just to keep your bellies fed. Survival of the fittest. I wonder how many of us are just mean sometimes because in the end we are all trying our best just to fit in.