He is still trying to get his bearing to this crazy reality we call life. All I want is the best for him, all things considering, with very little strife. I didn’t know how life could feel once you had a piece of your heart beating outside of your chest. I swear I will always want to love and protect until that day is decided that I will be taking my last breath.
Category: Autism
They Want to Drug My 5-Year-Old
I feel validated in my fears knowing the motive and planned out come for my son. I don’t want to regulate our stunt his emotions how could he even possibly grow into who he is meant to be. Drugging my son is not an option until more of his personality shines through and it becomes easier to see. I won’t allow them to define him because of the fights he has witnessed. If anything is wrong with him it’s because of my husband and me .
A System Of Failure
The light of my life is struggling so bad, and I am scared of what is to happen to him in this current day and time. I wish I could reach his brain and find a way to reach him, but I don’t think I am privy to that sort of information, and I have to find a way to be ok. It’s not that I am going to turn my back on him and make his find his own way, I am just scared of the life that is going to unfold in front of him and I am scared of what that “proverbial” system might do.
Not Without My Son
I am exhausted and heartbroken and even I know when a relationship is done. I just find it hard, and I am struggling because I am not going anywhere without my son.
A Mother’s Promise
There will always be those that have been sent to defeat you and only you can decide if their actions are going to be ok. What I feel is that I am already on guard with my son’s teachers and for the first week of school I am going to have to say that this is not ok. I will not let them take away a his smile like school had done for me. I will spend everyday that I am breathing trying to help him in realizing that he is ok. As his mother I will do everything I can to help him and I will never abandon him so that I can have a better way. I know what it feels like when a parent you love hates you and that is one promise I will keep to my son if I am able to have my say.
A Boy Like Me
I hate that this is our story. I hate that my son died in utero triggering a series of seizures threatening to take me away into the night too. I hate that as a mother I failed to see just how unhealthy that I was internally that stemmed far further than when I used to smoke cigarettes. From as early as I can remember I was prone to losing blood. Starting in the beginning when I was only 13.
Insults My Way
It is hard to share my thoughts and feelings because they are entirely one side. Of course they are. It is just me. Expressing my thoughts and feelings to the world. Because I talk to few it becomes obvious who those are that oppose of me. I mean my very presence in any room angers them and they are quick to fling any insults my way because of this.
Centre of My World
So where I thought that I was the one who needed saving I finally can admit that I am strong enough to begin saving the rest of the world. My smile maybe a little less than sunny perfection but it comes with one of the biggest hearts and intentions that you have ever felt or seen. I used to think it was bad to be your own best friend singing your praises but how else do you light up the night for the rest of the world to find? Ya sure to some I may mean nothing but I know to one that is living I am absolutely the center of his world and he is mine too.
Don’t Forget to Love Your Life
Sure we all like to have a purpose and mine is being the best mom. I don`t know what I am doing however, but I will never give up on trying. I am not the best by any means but I determined to keep on going. Where those who don`t understand there will always be a being who eventually will. The focus needs to be on the love that you harbour and not what you hope to achieve. Spinning on all wheels we will try our best to be heard. Why does it matter who hears your cries when you can be the love in your heart that you and your family has always needed. Until you watch the heart of a four year old break right before you you will never understand what this all means. I have to be his pillar of strength and try to be the family of his dreams.
I Am Powerless
I have been presented with an opportunity to still be the best that I can be but it will have to be done during the hours that my baby is asleep. Sure you may read this and say she is damaging her son. To me I believe that we have damaged all of our sons already. This world that we are raising our children in should be sounding all the alarm bells in our heads. There are those those only care for the life that is theirs and couldn’t be bothered with any other entity they find themselves by. I for one believe I need to relinquish all control. The Universe is listening and revealing to me people’s true colors to keep the evil away. Not everybody is the same and that is what makes this time absolutely beautiful but for this moment that is all around me all I can focus on is my boy.
Miss Ruby Sweet Cheeks 
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