A System Of Failure

The light of my life is struggling so bad, and I am scared of what is to happen to him in this current day and time. I wish I could reach his brain and find a way to reach him, but I don’t think I am privy to that sort of information, and I have to find a way to be ok. It’s not that I am going to turn my back on him and make his find his own way, I am just scared of the life that is going to unfold in front of him and I am scared of what that “proverbial” system might do.

When Hard Works Pays Off

Hard work has to pay off, doesn’t it? Or is it just a pigheaded consistency that desires nothing more than to watch one succeed? It’s hard to keep on doing the things that everybody comes down on you for when your heart and your soul keeps telling you to keep on doing more. The definition of insanity is to keep on doing the same thing over and over again with very little change. Is remaining stagnant considered a good thing or should one be screaming, running for that door?

Centre of my World

Just a little bit longer can he be the center of my world? but I have to be realistic when it comes time from separating him from me. I know it is a scary world out there so I need to do what I can to empower him and that is to sharpen up his senses and help him understand the words and emotions that other beings just can not see. Maybe not directly but in time it will become almost so. All I want for him is the best chance at existing. I think that will be my life mission until I grow old.

Not Without My Son

I am exhausted and heartbroken and even I know when a relationship is done. I just find it hard, and I am struggling because I am not going anywhere without my son.

A Mother’s Promise

There will always be those that have been sent to defeat you and only you can decide if their actions are going to be ok. What I feel is that I am already on guard with my son’s teachers and for the first week of school I am going to have to say that this is not ok. I will not let them take away a his smile like school had done for me. I will spend everyday that I am breathing trying to help him in realizing that he is ok. As his mother I will do everything I can to help him and I will never abandon him so that I can have a better way. I know what it feels like when a parent you love hates you and that is one promise I will keep to my son if I am able to have my say.

Insults My Way

It is hard to share my thoughts and feelings because they are entirely one side. Of course they are. It is just me. Expressing my thoughts and feelings to the world. Because I talk to few it becomes obvious who those are that oppose of me. I mean my very presence in any room angers them and they are quick to fling any insults my way because of this.

Don’t Forget to Love Your Life

Sure we all like to have a purpose and mine is being the best mom. I don`t know what I am doing however, but I will never give up on trying. I am not the best by any means but I determined to keep on going. Where those who don`t understand there will always be a being who eventually will. The focus needs to be on the love that you harbour and not what you hope to achieve. Spinning on all wheels we will try our best to be heard. Why does it matter who hears your cries when you can be the love in your heart that you and your family has always needed. Until you watch the heart of a four year old break right before you you will never understand what this all means. I have to be his pillar of strength and try to be the family of his dreams.

I Am Powerless

I have been presented with an opportunity to still be the best that I can be but it will have to be done during the hours that my baby is asleep. Sure you may read this and say she is damaging her son. To me I believe that we have damaged all of our sons already. This world that we are raising our children in should be sounding all the alarm bells in our heads. There are those those only care for the life that is theirs and couldn’t be bothered with any other entity they find themselves by. I for one believe I need to relinquish all control. The Universe is listening and revealing to me people’s true colors to keep the evil away. Not everybody is the same and that is what makes this time absolutely beautiful but for this moment that is all around me all I can focus on is my boy.

He Hit My Son

Moments like these cement our place in the world. They remind us what it means to be human and that there is nothing out there like a Mother’s love. I needed the reminder how much he needs me but I wish it never had to happen like this. You never know how far your heart can sink until another being is the reason why your heart cries. Watching him while he sleeps he is my angel here on Earth. I need to protect him and love him for as long as I can and always remind him of  how much he is worth.

A Life Like Mine

I have to be fierce and teach him it is ok to stand out. That it is ok to not be accepted by everybody because only you know what lays inside and how it feels when you are being left out. Excluded from being normal you accept the fact because you know you were born special. Born with the fists of furry beneath you never tiring just constantly feeling things out. The over active mind is a real special thing as it will always challenge your existence to live for a better day.