Don’t Forget to Love Your Life

Sure we all like to have a purpose and mine is being the best mom. I don`t know what I am doing however, but I will never give up on trying. I am not the best by any means but I determined to keep on going. Where those who don`t understand there will always be a being who eventually will. The focus needs to be on the love that you harbour and not what you hope to achieve. Spinning on all wheels we will try our best to be heard. Why does it matter who hears your cries when you can be the love in your heart that you and your family has always needed. Until you watch the heart of a four year old break right before you you will never understand what this all means. I have to be his pillar of strength and try to be the family of his dreams.

I Am Powerless

I have been presented with an opportunity to still be the best that I can be but it will have to be done during the hours that my baby is asleep. Sure you may read this and say she is damaging her son. To me I believe that we have damaged all of our sons already. This world that we are raising our children in should be sounding all the alarm bells in our heads. There are those those only care for the life that is theirs and couldn’t be bothered with any other entity they find themselves by. I for one believe I need to relinquish all control. The Universe is listening and revealing to me people’s true colors to keep the evil away. Not everybody is the same and that is what makes this time absolutely beautiful but for this moment that is all around me all I can focus on is my boy.

He Hit My Son

Moments like these cement our place in the world. They remind us what it means to be human and that there is nothing out there like a Mother’s love. I needed the reminder how much he needs me but I wish it never had to happen like this. You never know how far your heart can sink until another being is the reason why your heart cries. Watching him while he sleeps he is my angel here on Earth. I need to protect him and love him for as long as I can and always remind him of  how much he is worth.

A Life Like Mine

I have to be fierce and teach him it is ok to stand out. That it is ok to not be accepted by everybody because only you know what lays inside and how it feels when you are being left out. Excluded from being normal you accept the fact because you know you were born special. Born with the fists of furry beneath you never tiring just constantly feeling things out. The over active mind is a real special thing as it will always challenge your existence to live for a better day.

The Meaning of Life

We can try our best and in doing so we will increase our own net worth. It seems strange to compare your life in such a way but you are your own greatest asset.  I wish I had more answers but the truth is I have no clue. I want to. I read about the greatest lives that lived before me in the hopes that I may get an inkling or clue to my own existence. We can’t live in fear of what is to come because in doing so we could in essence make ourselves sick. At least unhappy as we always wait for that boom. That boom that tells us it is all over and that our human bodies will never move from room to room.  There are moments in my head that will just never leave. Those that are soon to be parted will always carry a spot in my head and brain. To hold those close to give them comfort on the way out is all I want to do. I want them to know as they hear my heart that I am scared for them and in turn I am a little bit scared for me. Where do you go and will we ever see each other again? It doesn’t seem fair to be so close then nothing. That will be the longest day when that day finally comes. I guess that is why we never know, so we can start each day to live again.

Blinded By Life

A fool and his money are soon parted but what happens to the fool when it comes to his mind? Nothing permeates our inner being faster than trying to fit in, up to and including lying to the world about who it is we are to become. I know my mind and I know my truth and my reality is that I was born to never fit in with the rest of the world. Sure it is isolating. Like a one man island but I would rather live here than where I was living before. Most friends and family only come around when they need something so I cut them off. My mind is to fragile to constantly be playing games with those that will never keep my sanity in mind.

Evens Stevens, A Monotonous Life

What the world needs now is this great reset. We keep talking about it and hoping for it but it doesn’t make much sense. Why would the entitled give up what they think they deserve? They don’t stop to realize that sometimes in life it just happens in an instant and don’t factor in who you were born to be or who your parents were you just exist now so deal with it and find a way to succeed. That is our life. Nothing about evens stevens or balance or even a buoy to help us float in choppy waters. I almost feel we were meant to struggle our whole lives to keep us suppressed and from being all we were born to be. How can we ever make it over the mole hill when what was left for us is too monotonous to even try?

In This Life I Lead

In this life I lead it might be confusing to some but it is mine and I am trying to remain somewhat in control. My mantra is still to be the girl I was born to be before the rest of the world was hell bound and determined to take it all away.

Dare to Dream

Over stuff my belly until I feel nauseated and sick. Friends are friends to be gentle and enemies like it when they can be hard. Make you sad and make you cry. The venom always seem to be more poisonous with every tear that escapes from your eye. So I struggle to me in this space that I find myself in because my husband laughs at me every chance that he gets. He is not my friend but he sure has become my reason why I always walk with a fire in my step and the dream of success in my eye.

Keep On Walking On

Friends don’t have to always be your friends once they have outlived their purpose. I am thankful for those who rip the band aids off but frown at the ones who can’t rip it off all the way. I could care less about you now, now that you have revealed your true colors to me. Be gone out into the pasture and keep on walking far off into the night.