What do I know really, how could I have possibly been on the down and out. Just some 38 year old sleeping on the basement floor going back to school living pay check to pay check. I had two jobs and had taken out a student loan and then I found somebody more broken then me. I know I am unloveable that was my curse from being a teen but my husband has just been unlucky in love more so than me.
Why be somebody’s nightmare when you can be your own dream come true. Why be the reason why somebody cries every night. Bringing magic into your day to day softens your heart almost in a childlike innocent kind of way. Through the eyes of a child we see with open hearts and never let someone else’s opinion interfere.
This is love this is adoration. This is the only opinion that should matter. Our pets know all about us. Our movements. Our thoughts. Our feelings. They are rare to hold grudges and most of all just want nothing more than our love. They don’t care if one eyebrow is missing our your lipstick is smudged. What matters to them is you made it home and for them that is their little piece of heaven on Earth.
The value of a moment. What could that possibly even mean. Can a moment resonate so deep inside us that we could carry it with us for all time. Is that a possibility? Could that be in the realm of possibility that we can feel something so strong that it does permeate our core guiding…
From the earliest of ages for most of us we are encouraged to have limitless dreams and reach for the stars. There was no dream to silly as we lost our magical ways in a transcendence trance like state. Being able to be free and to visualize a World that made us feel free and…
Is it possible to live with a childlike heart without getting eatten up by the masses. That I am not entirely sure of. I spent the last year focusing on finding my smile. Doing things that I normally wouldn’t. Reminding myself of who I used to be. Before all the violence. Before all the abuse. I stopped listening to all the chatter that was trying to bind me to my past. I never really understood why some people could be so determined to destroy another being.
My weakness has always been my ability to cry at the drop of a hat. I used to get called so many names. Even my family would roll their eyes and make fun of me as being too emotional and my favourite is when I was being told to grow up. I was always apologizing for feeling things. Like feelings are invalid. I learned to cry behind closed doors. That is if I could wait that long. Being called a baby when you feel sad that soembody else’s heart hurts is the worst feeling.
The successful ones are the ones that truly believe in what they are selling. They say what they think and they can rebuttal any obstacle because they believe in the product inside and out. They are confident self-assured and their is an air about them that we all get intoxicated if we stay in their orbit for too long. Same goes true in the opposite scenario. Somebody who is thinking this car is a dud I just got to unload it will come across as nervous or that over confidence that makes us run for the hills and never return.
We assume that they don’t care for us or they are ignoring our struggle but in the reality they are struggling in their own ways. Now with the doors of Christmas coming to a close I start to ponder everything I feel inside.
In those beautiful moments when you were given a treasured gift hold on to them in your heart forever. Those memories and that love will never fade. Yes it has become dull over time because time has a habit of doing that. Time turns everything to dust as we will all come to know. But when we are finally released from these bodies that once held us back we will long for that opportunity to once again feel love and to hold another being in our arms.