When We Are Dead

The void that happens instantly when part of our family doesn’t come home is heart breaking. I know that we aren’t meant to be here forever but our hearts sure do bleed the moment they decide to go on and leave.

Appreciate A Moment

I could tell that everything surrounding this moment was different. I could tell that through her pain she could no longer recognize the family she had loved over this last few years. I want to scream and trash their office out of anger but then I realize that will never let her come home and would only have me acting as a fool.

Breaking Point

There is that fear that those that don’t know me will exclaim that they were right. That I was never going to make a good mother, friend or even companion how hilarious the last few years have been watching you try to be a good wife.

In Search for Authenticity

Is there a place for second chances I think that depends on who is asking? I am not one for granting forgiveness but I have been known to ask to be forgiven. What a funny world we live in. What a shame we only get to live once.

A Grandmother’s Legacy

I cry because I hurt. I hurt because you died and I don’t know if I will ever feel the same way again. I am guarded against those that have always made fun of me and cursed my good name any chance that they could and did. Even though I have been pushed aside by those that used to love me I still hold onto my memories to get me through these trying times.

Nobody to Talk Too

To live vicariously with little or no fear of what is being said or even what is happening around you wouldn’t that be the most ideal way to live? You wouldn’t have to worry if anybody was around or if anybody cared to listen to you, you could go on with a full heart and live to have the grandest day.

Last Breath

I think that is what makes me believe that this life we are living maybe a ruse and that we are spiraling into our own demise. Don’t you feel a little bit suppressed and beat down sometimes? Like no matter how hard you try to run away from it all that you may just become all of their lives. That the sparkle that is you, is enough to light up the night sky. I hope we all get a chance to realize that moment before we take our last breath and die.

Imagine an Existense

Why would this one person be privy to an action that billions upon billions would have wished to have done? I still believe that they took an opportunity to try and control how they believed other people should be. Think about it? They manipulated the situation at a time when not many could even read. The tales that were told were handed down from their lips to our ears and then we took it all as being gospel so we didn’t know what we were supposed to believe.

Block and Delete

Wouldn’t that be amazing? To live during a time when not everything is out on display that there are some things left to the imagination inciting our senses and encouraging all those around us to play. I guess it is the time for me to hit ignore on those entities that no longer serve me especially when they aggravate my nerves more now that I am forced to listen to what they have actually have to say. I am only forced if I allow them to continuously have access to me but for now I think I have no choice but to keep on hitting that good ol block and delete.

Before I Go Insane

I don’t have friends. Not any in this physical life. There is nobody around me that wants to give me a sincere hug. I have my sister who hugged me two years ago on my birthday but my heart and soul is aching telling me that this will never be enough. I miss human contact and emotion that is beyond my 5 year old’s capacity. It is not that he isn’t good enough it’s just that those feelings are not quiet the same. I guess it will have to be enough to get me through this lifetime even though the emotions in my head are determined and about to make me go insane.