As I hold my breath and watch you, you leave your seat and take flight. Like an angel returning to the Heavens, all I see is your light. How I wish I could fly one more time with you and tell you how sorry I am. I am sorry I failed you and your life was taken to soon. My heart won’t forget you. We will always have recess and you can meet me at the swings, ontop of the monkey bars where the lonely ol bluebird sings.
My promise I made to myself when trying to fulfill this life was to never turn my back on that passing, their moment in time. If given the opportunity to ease in their travels from this realm to the next, I would consider it a great honour to be the one to hold you in your arms and tell you goodbye. Nobody should have to leave this Earth feeling so unloved and that is what will happened if I keep on this course that I am on. I am going to use this pain to start taking more risks. Life only happens once and it is over in a blink of an eye. One year you are married the next year you die.
I watched this movie last night as my boys slept. It was called Replica, filmed in 2018. Starred Keanu Reeves. Have you heard of it? Maybe you have already seen it. It is ranked #2 on Canada Netflix. The storey line is basically that of a mad neuroscientist who is trying to install the memories…
Altering any time line no matter the content will be detrimental to the preservation of life. As we rape and pillage the World of all of it’s natural and unnatural asset it will leave us not only a dead world with a hole in its’ heart but it will leave each and every one of us unfilled and living without a purpose.
So if living is not about the definition but about the experience does that mean that we are all missing the point? To enjoy life and all it’s candor while accepting the ebbs and flows as they come. I imagine infinite sorrow and the feeling of heartbreak. The only true cure is no cure at all. That you can only move forward with the grief in your heart but a new song on your lips.
So there is it. With the misguided illusion that we must know what life is we forget to experience it. We forget that there are lessons and hints written all throughout time. That the real power comes from being humble to the prospect that maybe just maybe you don’t know all. That the digressions of another can be the sanity that you seek
My guilt eats away at me knowing that in my younger years I was the very toxic pollution that I have now come to hate. Maybe that is why it has become important to me to open up my life. My life in all it’s plain and basic splendor actually help me to understand who it is I am supposed to become. It isn’t for a lack of trying or misunderstanding but a veil of doubt and insecurity that haunts me.
It is true somebody’s storey is a little bit worse than your own. You have to remind yourself that there is somebody always a little worse off. Kind of a harsh reality it’s true. Then all of a sudden you are the one worse off but then again are you really? Who knows. I guess what I am saying is what’s the harm? Where’s the risk? Living miserably or dying happy I guess that choice is up to you!
I am a functioning empath. My whole insides can be ripped into shreds but there is always a time and place. I usually like to cry alone because I don’t want to upset anybody else. Maybe because it is in that pain that I know came great love. In the memory of my friend who lost his way I want to reach out to those that are at their lowest. Yes I don’t know you. But I do love you. We get to walk and live this great Earth at the same sliver in time. I don’t want to make your journey harder I want to make it better. I want to inspire you to find the way to live your greatest life possible. That no matter who you are you are worth it even in those moments of greatest despair.
We all have these incredible opportunities to live out our lives differently but there is always something that is holding us back. Call it an insecurity that resides within ourselves. Something that took a hold of us a long time. It dulled that sparkle that we used to look at the world with. Wide eyes…