I am far from perfect but I have learn to forgive myself. I try to remind myself to be kind as many times as a find a new grey hair (trust me that is a lot). Let’s replace our own toxic thoughts with a harmony that will be remembered throughout time. It doesn’t have to reach the masses of epic proportions. It only needs to reach and touch you.
Like that if this was the World’s destiny then why wait for the inevitable. I let the tears flow as my son wiped the tears away. My anxiety got the best of me. I felt lost, hopeless, unidentifiable with the life unfolding in front of me.
That is something that isn’t really talked about to much. We are taught that dreams aren’t meant to be having. That if we stick to the course that was set out for us that we will achieve succcess. Who determines how success is defined for you. We have dissected everything down to its most literal sense and try to suppress any individuality.
We all have these incredible opportunities to live out our lives differently but there is always something that is holding us back. Call it an insecurity that resides within ourselves. Something that took a hold of us a long time. It dulled that sparkle that we used to look at the world with. Wide eyes…
No matter the circumstances the Winter season is the worst. In the coldest nights you comfort yourself with the warmest memories that only ease the pain for a while. When you focus back into the reality you remember the life as you remembered never existed. There used to be a time when my dad was my best friend and my grandpa was my hero.
I am slowly working towards the person I want to be. I have taken the first steps in identifying when somebody is in pain. Not physical pain. The pain that nobody wants to talk about until it’s too late. Everything I have been working towards is to help those that need it most. I will hug a stranger (with permission of course), I will brush away their tears if need be. My self realization has brought me to a place where I am ready, willing and able to help all those I meet. It is time when we begin to live a life all together instead of divided apart. Your sex, race, nationality means nothing to me. You are human and that is all the realization I need to know.
Suicide only truly hurts the living. At least for the one who saw it as their only way out. The suffering that they leave behind is now a noose around someboy’s else’s neck. Maybe it isn’t courageous to take that root. When you consider living in a World that can’t be satisfied no matter how selfless and hard you personally try. I am going to keep searching for a way to heal what I can.
We aren’t bad people. You loved us once. Now I will tell you the last peace that crushes my soul and hopefully I can experience some release.
Is selfishness and self preservasion the same thing? Well that is the confusing part. You never want to be put ahead of another living being. What entitles you to being better than something that was created to be loved and to be equal. Can’t we all just be born to be.
We can withstand losing body parts, limbs, eyes etc but it is the physical pain that endures that we can’t live with. Pain drives as crazy. It takes our ability away from having any sort of free thought. Physical pain will make you lash out at anybody for whatever reason but it still doesn’t make you feel any better. In fact it makes you feel worse. The embarassment of not being able to control your emotions takes over like wildfire