Imagine living this existence and I don’t mean just any existence I mean I have lived this life before. Somewhere between being a young girl and coming of age my eyes were wide open to what a relationship could possibly mean and I was scared of knowing more.
A Grandmother’s Legacy
I cry because I hurt. I hurt because you died and I don’t know if I will ever feel the same way again. I am guarded against those that have always made fun of me and cursed my good name any chance that they could and did. Even though I have been pushed aside by those that used to love me I still hold onto my memories to get me through these trying times.
I thought about my son and how his school said the same thing and I thought we were in agreeance on what being medicated could even mean. It means that somebody in your general vicinity is getting tired of dealing with you so it would be easier for them if you became a zombie. No emotion. No fight as the person you became to love and know gets lost into the night. I wonder why it’s ok to stick up for my sons mood swings but it isn’t ok to stick up for me.
A Directional Zig Zag
So I maybe a little bit sensitive. Aren’t we all? I think for me it is because there are a million things I want to know about before the day comes that I die. I am fully aware that I have no idea of what is to come of me or the animals that I gave a loving place to call home. The idea that life gets reduced to absolutely nothing is something that I can’t stomach. Who can? Only the demonic maybe and that is why some of us walk a very fine line.
Choice of Opinion
I think we are too flippant with our emotions only feeding into them when we feel lost and by then it is too late. How can we expect to keep a level head when everything is so heated it becomes almost impossible to mitigate the tension until it all becomes lost. An explosion of kinetic energy just waiting to get their baring’s in this growing cold world.
That Was Hard
Why do we care so much with what is happening when we are out instead of worrying about the sanity of those we call family and keeping them safe. There is keeping them safe and then there is being overbearing, not letting them get their foot hold in an already crazy world. Perception is in the eyes of the beholder and I think that should be the focus instead of zeroing in on the only things we can see.
A Mother’s Love
He is still trying to get his bearing to this crazy reality we call life. All I want is the best for him, all things considering, with very little strife. I didn’t know how life could feel once you had a piece of your heart beating outside of your chest. I swear I will always want to love and protect until that day is decided that I will be taking my last breath.
I realize that this is what makes me human and I am not sure how much more I can take but I will. I will keep on trying to make a difference in my life and into the next. I wonder how this all started and if I will return to a place that will one day all make sense. I want it to and even if it doesn’t I will still rise again until the one day that I physically can’t. I hope that you will too. Even in our most depressed state we are worthy and yes that means I am talking about you.
I am just a girl who is in love with the world, no longer afraid of her voice, her reflection not even her own shadow. Hate me for loving this body that I am confined in. Instead of destroying and vandalizing my body and my name I will become a beacon a safe haven for others to do the same. I dare you to live differently at least take a chance. Make your life worth it before we are out of breath from our last dance.
Put On Ice
Fate, The possibility of a chance meeting. For no other reason than two world’s colliding but as fast as they found each other they were destined to part, There was no way of knowing when it happened or if it ever did but a part of my soul felt your presence before my heart and…
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