Is it possible to live with a childlike heart without getting eatten up by the masses. That I am not entirely sure of. I spent the last year focusing on finding my smile. Doing things that I normally wouldn’t. Reminding myself of who I used to be. Before all the violence. Before all the abuse. I stopped listening to all the chatter that was trying to bind me to my past. I never really understood why some people could be so determined to destroy another being.
My weakness has always been my ability to cry at the drop of a hat. I used to get called so many names. Even my family would roll their eyes and make fun of me as being too emotional and my favourite is when I was being told to grow up. I was always apologizing for feeling things. Like feelings are invalid. I learned to cry behind closed doors. That is if I could wait that long. Being called a baby when you feel sad that soembody else’s heart hurts is the worst feeling.