There was a time that I believed that if you were good to people they would reflect that back onto you. Oh how funny to think back on those kind of days. Everybody who I laid down my life for has now stabbed me in the back and I don’t blame them for taking up on an opportunity that I had allowed them to take. I wanted to believe that there was something good deep down inside of everybody until I learned that some beings are more than content to keep on behaving in such a way.
There is something to be said for learning to adjust to what society has deemed a necessity for us. With cell phones attached to our hips we answer to everybody and we forget who it is we actually wanted to become. I can remember countless outings with people just to watch them on their phone. Oh this text is important to me. Let me take this call. Nah, I am good. I think I am better off at home.
All I know is I am tired of being ashamed for my shine because it is to bright for your eyes. Imagine living your whole life under somebody else’s shadow because they finally had it their way and managed to permeate your brain. Kick them out for being obnoxious then take over your rein as Diva Supreme. I mean we only have this one time to live through our eyes so why wait for another to tell us how to live it and if we got it right!
As I hold my breath and watch you, you leave your seat and take flight. Like an angel returning to the Heavens, all I see is your light. How I wish I could fly one more time with you and tell you how sorry I am. I am sorry I failed you and your life was taken to soon. My heart won’t forget you. We will always have recess and you can meet me at the swings, ontop of the monkey bars where the lonely ol bluebird sings.
Compassion doesn’t work that way and life is supposed to love and heal. Imagine living back then only to find out that humans are even more grotesque than they have ever been before. We are stuck in this loop of working our fingers to the bone to fund our terrorists who are here right now dancing and laughing on holy soil with our brothers and sisters being the meal that replenishes the Earth. You have to change everything you have ever done before and stand tall in your own pile of sh*t. Are you truly authentic or are you living a life on display for others to appreciate and understand?
When a friend waivers in being a good friend to me I have to lead them to pasture and I have to set them free. If a so called friend can betray you with the million of eyes that social media can bring I can close my two eyes and severe the tie that may be. I value my time and space and the people I hold dear. I am yet to regret anybody that has found themselves at the end of unfriend, block, delete.
We shouldn’t gravitate towards another’s pain, anguish or heartbreak. We are drawn to it in ways that makes us run towards it like a moth to a flame. Sometimes in life though the flame will combust so that everyone can see.
Oh gosh not literally. But every time I have a fight with one of those mentioned above I always hear these lyrics by Drake on repeat, “F*ck a fake friend, where your real friends at?We don’t like to do too much explainin’Story stayed the same, I never changed it.” What I love about these creatures…
My eyes are now focused on those that make their way in front of me. My reflection only matters in their eyes no longer my own. Only I can truly know who I am on the inside for I am bestowed that pleasure. My work and focus now is to help others see the lady I have become and maybe in time help others find their way.
The struggle of life is impervious to us all and I am just looking for a way to make it easier. Maybe I am selfish doing it for purely selfish motives. Maybe it is because I am selfless and after surviving my struggle I turn with an open hand to help guide you to shore. In times when we feel like we have no one my goal is to help you see that at least you have me. Who am I and why do I care?