There is something to be said for an existence that is irritating. Not to myself but to others that have found themselves near me. I think it is hard to hear about how so many people don’t have an acquired taste for me so I shut myself off from the world before it is my time to leave.
Use less words so there is less words that can be taken out of context these days. I just want to exist in a life with less fighting and I could do with a lot less rage. I know the life I lived to get here so I don’t need words constantly thrown in my face. It would be nice just to live a serene existence with less tit and more tat and a silent acknowledgement of what is.
Why do we care so much with what is happening when we are out instead of worrying about the sanity of those we call family and keeping them safe. There is keeping them safe and then there is being overbearing, not letting them get their foot hold in an already crazy world. Perception is in the eyes of the beholder and I think that should be the focus instead of zeroing in on the only things we can see.
My biggest fear is that I know it will be impossible for me to love him forever. I know that life will happen and it’s the finality of death I fear. Without fully knowing where we are going I can’t help but feel the tears escape my eyes. All I want is the life that I was promised so that I can be forgiven in order for my son to thrive. I would give up everything just to see him be happy in every possible way in life before he dies.
Reflections in time are like song of the future. You are never to sure of their existence. You want to believe in all that there is. All that is possible and all that can be. That is the beauty and mystery of life isn’t it? To go to your natural limitations then try to push through. Don’t you want to exceed on the person you were from yesterday or do you just want to do what some have before you and just let the natural course of life slide through your fingers. There is no time like the present. You will never be younger more youthful then you are in this moment.
Times are harder now. We are constantly exposed to the billions of people that surround us. We can have thousands of single mates at our fingertips from all over the World. How does one even stay celibate and chose the love that has come to exist outside of their body for something cheap and taudry.
It’s not the existing in a time where you are no longer. We all know that this is the cycle that we all endure. My question is just in the wondering what happened to you. Who were you and what did your life mean to you? There is going to come a time in somebody else’s life where they are going to wonder the same about me. I wonder if there is enough recorded to appease the curiosity.
The feeling of never amounting to anything now became her centre. If her parents were embarassed of who she was then she should be too. Destined to never hold her chin up she was determined to not let them see what they did to her. It was the only satisfaction she got. Be hard enough so they don’t know how badly cracked you truly are. Believe and trust nobody, including herself.
I used to sit there for so long and listen to those that I love talk down to me like I was never going to amount to anything. A waste of life those closest to me said. A constant disappointment. It became far easier to believe those lies then to fight against the surge of ignorance bound my way. When you stop believing in yourself and what could possibly be you find yourself in a very dangerous, toxic place.
I just want the younger generation to not fear all those changes that they are faced with. To slow down and listen to themselves. Try and dull the white noise of all the influences around you. That is ok to embrace the side of you that you fear the rest of the world might not agree with.