Yesterday my husband decided to try out another creative insult. This time he lashed out at me, “Were you born in a barn?” To which I replied well no not exactly. I lived on a farm near my Grandparents barn and in all reality I was born in a hospital but lived in a trailer park for the first year of my life. And then he looked at me and told me to stop being stupid that it was a figurative of speech.
There are so many reasons why I want to give up. There are so many more why I won’t. When I chose to give myself up freely to the powers that may be I had no idea the directional course it would put me on. I can’t tell you what it feels like. What I know though is somewhere through all the smoke and mirrors I know that there is pain and there is hurt and if I didn’t at least try and make the World a better place… I had to at least try.
So if living is not about the definition but about the experience does that mean that we are all missing the point? To enjoy life and all it’s candor while accepting the ebbs and flows as they come. I imagine infinite sorrow and the feeling of heartbreak. The only true cure is no cure at all. That you can only move forward with the grief in your heart but a new song on your lips.
There is no denying the actuality of our life line being incredibly turbulent. No great feet was ever meet with some incredible time, patience and perseverance. What I began to notice the longer that I try to hang on for the ride is that there is always this natural instinct of knowing what is the…
Reflections in time are like song of the future. You are never to sure of their existence. You want to believe in all that there is. All that is possible and all that can be. That is the beauty and mystery of life isn’t it? To go to your natural limitations then try to push through. Don’t you want to exceed on the person you were from yesterday or do you just want to do what some have before you and just let the natural course of life slide through your fingers. There is no time like the present. You will never be younger more youthful then you are in this moment.
Yes we would all love to hold the hand of those that created us. The ones that first looked down upon us before we took our first breath. With the billions of people that are inhabiting the Earth though we have come to learn how to recreate that love. Yes it will always be a tiny bit different. But what I love about the love that is born upon us is the one that we get to create through commitment and determination. That your family that you are creating is worth living for. Only you can work towards ending the toxicity that threatens to poison us all.
The end goal of life is death so what is it we are supposed to be doing with all the stuff in between. We are constantly having these curveballs thrown at us that distract us from where we are going. When you feel on top of he World the Universe kicks you down a notch or too and says uhmmm ya there is no such thing as an easy life.
I am a functioning empath. My whole insides can be ripped into shreds but there is always a time and place. I usually like to cry alone because I don’t want to upset anybody else. Maybe because it is in that pain that I know came great love. In the memory of my friend who lost his way I want to reach out to those that are at their lowest. Yes I don’t know you. But I do love you. We get to walk and live this great Earth at the same sliver in time. I don’t want to make your journey harder I want to make it better. I want to inspire you to find the way to live your greatest life possible. That no matter who you are you are worth it even in those moments of greatest despair.
“I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything”
-Johnny Cash, Hurt