My anxiety is crippling. I feel sick every time I move. I get sick often throughout the day. Mostly when he is berating me and trying to do everything to set me off. Does a partner purposely do everything in their power to watch a loved one fail? Today has felt like a doozy, at times I can barely breathe.
The building blocks to a life well lived usually start from there. To nurture those in our family is to give them our unconditional love and support. What is missing from my life is a cheerleader, somebody to help me up when I fall down. Without a husband who cares and loves me I am just a middle aged lady growing cold.
For those of us who have walked the line we know the vows that are exchanged. Sickness and health, richer or for poor, the bare basics of a loving relationship laid out for all to witness and adore.
Yes we would all love to hold the hand of those that created us. The ones that first looked down upon us before we took our first breath. With the billions of people that are inhabiting the Earth though we have come to learn how to recreate that love. Yes it will always be a tiny bit different. But what I love about the love that is born upon us is the one that we get to create through commitment and determination. That your family that you are creating is worth living for. Only you can work towards ending the toxicity that threatens to poison us all.
I am not one to start my morning by poking a sleeping bear but that is what had to be done. Imagine as well that the same bear just got home at about 12:30 am (son as well for that matter) and now here I am the bearer (lol) of bad news that it was time to get up. My son awoke as well but after some cuddles and a nappie change he managed to fall back to sleep in my lap. For those of you moms out there you know that feeling of just unimaginable peace as the piece of your heart that beats out of your chest is finally content and sleeping peacefully…
That is why I do the things I do the way I do. I know the most precious gift I have is when I passed on the gift of life to my son. I finally understand what my mom meant by her saying that all she wanted from us was to live better lives than her. I never truly understood what that meant. Now I know. She wanted to make sure we had the opportunities that she didn’t.
Learning to love a stranger in times when it is needed most is something we should all strive for. There is beauty in our individual lives, there is an art when we blend our lives together, we could last until eternity if we could all sing in harmony together.
Everything that I have every dreamed of is coming true. And it all started with love and a little faith that every once in a while happy endings do happen, at least that is when my did, right when I least expected it. And all with a blink of an eye.
At least while we are still breathing we can change that directional course. We can dare to be different, to be unique. To dare to walk down a path less trodden. To be beautifully unique in your own simplicity. To just be free to be.
You don’t have to be a specific sex to follow the rules implied by Steve Harvey.