My social media was becoming the same way. I like to have a purpose for people to come and find me but it didn’t matter anyways because most people didn’t come and stay. Does that make sense? Kind of. It’s like I think it’s just a numbers game for most people. They think once they have you sticking around that you will always stick around so they don’t have to buy into what you are saying or giving you their support.
Middle of the day thoughts are the worst I find because my thoughts are just scattered. What I thought I would be writing about at 3 am I am no longer and I don’t know if I should feel bothered.
So I maybe a little bit sensitive. Aren’t we all? I think for me it is because there are a million things I want to know about before the day comes that I die. I am fully aware that I have no idea of what is to come of me or the animals that I gave a loving place to call home. The idea that life gets reduced to absolutely nothing is something that I can’t stomach. Who can? Only the demonic maybe and that is why some of us walk a very fine line.
So I try to keep the life force shining bright inside of me even though that I know there are others around me that are trying to blow it out. I should focus so much on those who are trying to deter me and should focus more on how I can get out of here. Not out of here physically but to a more glorious mental state. One that isn’t so contradicting in order for me to feel some kind of relief so I search for it myself. I look for the answers of life that I need to keep me going and I think that is all that somebody needs. Something that we can find if we just keep looking for the answers deep within oneself.
Did you ever try so hard to get your happiness back, but you end up failing in every possible way? That when you felt your joy being sucked right out of you instead of running for the high hills you decided to turn and forever stay. What I thought was the best of an opportunity ended up crumbling right before my eyes. The only thing I can’t stop myself from thinking about is will I ever know happiness again before I die.
The building blocks to a life well lived usually start from there. To nurture those in our family is to give them our unconditional love and support. What is missing from my life is a cheerleader, somebody to help me up when I fall down. Without a husband who cares and loves me I am just a middle aged lady growing cold.
We all have this natural voice inside us that tries to tell us right from wrong. At times it is incredibly hard to hear because we spend so much time listening to others instead of ourselves. Isn’t that odd? We should know each other the best out of anyone yet we will talk ourselves out…
Maybe I did. Maybe I moved blindly into a World that I was never prepared for. Maybe it is just another blip in the life of me. I want to cry but somehow I feel like I have been set free. That noose that was tightening around my neck was now gone. The only thing left to share was my honest truth and the blind faith that I had going forward.
Where is it written that beauty is conventional and only entitled to a few worthy receipients. The egotistical mind is anything but beautiful. They are overconfident in scenarios that don’t need it. They laugh and joke when others leave the room…if only for a moment. It has become more of a right of passage to bond together with girls over the faults of others.
More than a great literary piece. It feels like it is almost the death of an era. Let’s imagine. Here at my fingertips I can shop for anything that my heart desires and in some case have it delivered to my doorsteep the next day. How can you not get lost in the romance of…