So maybe exercising my mind is trivial and I don’t need to dive into the lives of others that have happened before I was ever born. What would prove to be more beneficial? Getting to a place where I can bench press my body weight or trying to understand the torturous life path that others were faced to endure? Is there more value in trying to understand why some would take the lives of others in their hands and crush them to dust in their palms?
My life has slowed down dramatically and all my focus has been turned inwards. Not just on my well being but the well being of my family. The exhaustion that comes from such a hectic life is rewarded handsomely by the unconditional love that those in my care provide. Of course I have boundaries and set realistic limits but nothing drives me more than trying to make them all happy.
It’s like in that one single moment you have no idea where your body ends and theirs begins. You can’t breathe, think, move or do anything. Angels saved me from indulging in the only truly love I have ever known. Say what you will about angels but I feel them everyday. They remind me what would be lost if I would have lost my mind and heart that night. Destiny has a way of nudging you in the right direction.
It’s like none of us ever existed. He washed his hands free. He has nothing to do with any of us. He hates us all for whoever is watching to see. I can’t imagine a woman who would shun her mates family. Painting them evil so you end up focusing on her white trash instead. The apples don’t fall far from the tree. How can your offspring be content in not wondering who this mysterious man in their life.
If only it were that simple. A killer doesn’t turn to one over night like we all want to think. It is an erosion of the mind, a lack of acceptance that pushes hit them beyond the brink. Imagine in elementary school trying to make friends and like an outcast you just get laughed at and shunned. You are last picked for all the games and at lunch time you sit in the corner of the field eating your bread sandwich alone.
When you cast away someone you love after what somebody else has done you rob yourself of the life experience that some of us spend our whole lives searching for. I want to speak out because we can’t define ourselves by the way somebody else abused us.
When your soul stirs you know it you can’t build up to it it is just there. In the absence of our true love we can still find comfort in each other. It is ok to let your guard down so you can learn to embrace each minute.
They say when you awake in the middle of the night and can’t fall back to sleep that it is because you are inhabiting somebody else’s dreams. I have had that illusion before where although awake you feel out of your body almost in a trance like dream state. You feel your presence come in…
“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.”
Through the years I began to understand how your own self worth was everything. That maybe none of us were ever born to fit in because that was not meant to be our destiny’s