Alive Outside Broken Within

It is in that simplicity in knowing that I am in fact part of a bigger picture. We all are. For no reason we find ourselves living at the same time bound by our place in eternity. This moment will soon be forgotten with nobody left to bring it back to life. That is so powerful in itself to think about.

Unloved in Life

There is no escaping the fear that comes when those in your life are content in beating you to death with your own fears. I know what I hate about myself and you do too. Why do you have to use it against me like you just found out how to use the ultimate tool. Behaviour like this just turns me off and pushes me far off farther to the side.

Heart Broken and Numb

I have spent so much time staring in I no longer recognize that I am not included. I have learned to be kind and gentle to myself because that is always needed. And I learned more than likely when you do the right thing and you are scared of sticking out that that is when you find yourself as the odd one out.

He F*king Hates Me

Thinking in my head where the thoughts are moving a mile a minute I can’t help but thinking that maybe it is me. See if my husband hates me and my dad hates me than common sense it is definitely me. Maybe it is my love for “airing out dirty laundry”.

Happily Married or Just Unhappy

I never thought the person who hated me most in this life would be my husband. This single fact makes me long to take my last breath. I already feel this great shame because I have failed as a daughter and now no matter what I do I have failed as a wife. When I…

For Better or Worse

I am tired of existing alone in this house of chaos while he sleeps. I wonder how much longer I have in me to stay in something that is neither better or worse or just is. Either way I can see how he respects me in that in itself is something very hard to ignore.

My Journey into Motherhood

I just want to live an existence where my family is proud of me. It is hard to live a life in the shadows of those you hold so high. Scared to move forward out of fear that it will all come crashing down. I longed for a World that made sense. Where we were…

Till Death Do Us Part

What happened to that? What would even be the point of even reciting these vows if it was something you knew you were never going to honour in the first place. Imagine. You know deep down that you are polyamorous. You knew deep down that these exact words you would call into question at some…

From All Sides

I stretch my hand as far as it can go into the cold dark hair. Stretching my finger tips I think I can feel something. Sadly though whatever it is in front of me it is not my destiny to walk by it’s side. Forever cast aside in the shadows of my melancholy I struggle…

Hope As Our Saviour

Guess some of you are thinking why the sudden change? Like many it came when my husband is sitting home for 10 days until he gets the all clear after showing signs of COVID. So like so many of us in confinement we are stuck at home with our spouses. I already knew that for…