One Foot in the Grave

I keep one foot in the grave because admitting to be an active participant in whatever this life is has become far too much. We live in this world where everybody wants to save these closest racists from going under fire. Why do I have to walk amongst those that show over and over again…

Please God Wake Me

I wake up covered in blood and wipe away my tears. It’s not me I tell myself it’s the disease. Looking around I hope that my reality has changed. If you could wake up anywhere where would you be. All I want is to somehow be back in the 90’s. Nobody understands me here. Fitting…

Don’t Let the Broken Man Catch Me

“Ah what avails the sceptred race! Ah, what form divine! What every virtue, every grace! Rose Aylmer, all were thine” “The Year of Magical Thinking”, Joan Didion My thoughts are becoming my own. It has been a long journey. At times it felt like I would fall over from sheer exhaustion. Tired from the constant…

Not All Fairy Tales Comes True

I stand on top of the cliff looking down at the water beating furiously on the rocks below. Reaching my hand into my pocket I feel the envelope cold in my hands. I want to take it out again but can’t. The words written on the envelope I sent in a red scrawl taunting me…

Sorry My Body Offends You (oh no I’m not lol)

The seizures I endured have affected my thoughts and brain. I am on medication for severe anxiety. My whole life changed. It had nothing to do with diet, exercise or health. I spent 15 years inside of a gym. Hours upon hours of cardio. Restricted calories, no carbs, no social life.  The gym wasn’t about health it was about vanity. We somehow defined our character by the amount we could bench press and nothing more.

Creating a Monster

The reality is a majority of us will spend our whole lives waiting to find the one who can bare the weight of our souls. Hopefully though more of us will feel safety in being who we were born to be instead of becoming the monster society creates.

Boycott the NFL (or at least Michael Vick!)

But now here we are recognizing a man based on his athletic abilities and not who he is as a man. He is not a great leader. He isn’t even a man. You can’t even compare him to the animals he killed because these animals had more compassion in the skulls he crushed into the ground then in his little finger. But wait did you know he is even allowed to own a dog again. We even let this piece of garbarge pro-create.  We are only human and we are not superior in any way. We keep preaching how we evolved but if evolving means having no compassion or common sense please throw me out to the wolves.

The Transcendence of Time Into a Limitless Abyss

We can withstand losing body parts, limbs, eyes etc but it is the physical pain that endures that we can’t live with. Pain drives as crazy. It takes our ability away from having any sort of free thought. Physical pain will make you lash out at anybody for whatever reason but it still doesn’t make you feel any better. In fact it makes you feel worse. The embarassment of not being able to control your emotions takes over like wildfire

Losing the dance with addiction (and the pieces left behind)

We all know an addict and have witnessed the horrible struggle that resides inside of them. We all have held hope in our heart that they will wake up and see what they are doing and stop. We all know somebody who has overdosed but because the worst outcome isn’t an option for us they…