I think that is why so many people think I am crazy or why I can so easy bring a tear to my eye. I know what it feels like to live broken and have those closest to you hate you so much you wish you could die. Instead of having a family that was supposed to love me I was treated like garbage and thrown away. I am sorry I was forced to endure this pain it is something that lives inside of me still to this day.
Category: Mental Illness
Do you have high standards? Maybe I should start with standards. Do you have any standards or do you just let anybody get in close to you? Imagine the damage that can be done if your secrets were told to the wrong people. Would they be there for you or would they turn their back and run?
Highly Charged and Overly Emotional
I feel for those who did nothing more than being born then they are forced to live a life that not many would wish their worst enemy ever to endure. When kindness and compassion can be the emotion that reins supreme it never ceases to amaze me how others will chose to be.
The Strength I Need
I couldn’t break the cycle because there was never anybody on the sidelines routing for me. I had to do it all again while being ridiculed. I got to a place where I could do was curse my good name. If you hated me I hated me too and there is not much one can do once you have reclaimed your place in the dirt. If it wasn’t for trying to prove my haters wrong I think I would have given up by now, my son gives me all the strength I need these days so that I can move on.
I Don’t Want To Change
I finally get what people say when they don’t want anybody to change them. I feel like my husband is not able to accept me for who I am because he is incapable of loving me through all my emotional damage. Instead of telling me it will be ok and giving me a hug when I am manic he insults me and makes fun of me. Basically he just keeps pushing me further away.
The Damage Is Done
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it but this relationship is damaged beyond repaired. The more things that are said out of anger are pushing me to a place where I can never forgive and honestly I don’t care. I began returning him the favour but I can see now how damaging that would be for our son. All I want is for him to see that we can be grown and act responsible he is seeing far too much for such a little kid.
I am stunned by everything that is happening around me. I used to believe in a life so perfect until I became a teen and life has I had come to know it began to rip apart at the seems. Our reality is that nothing is ever as it appears and we can be left scrambling to realize our own dreams.
The epitome of all Earth shattering violence. A bullet shot at the head goes straight through everything else instead. Game over. Lights out. There is nothing more that can be done. Did so and so really hate you that much that this is the only way that the game could have been won?
Knocked Down a Level
.Hell has no fury than a lover scorned but what happens when they don’t like you? Well the 110% truth and reality is you have two choices and once you have made yours what right do you have to complain. Am I right? Because that is what I keep telling myself when I notice that nothing is ever going to change.
Why I Write
During this time of incredible uncertainty I think my friends and family will have no question I am who I said I am. I write in the hopes of providing better for my family to inspire others to open up about there journey and do what feels right.
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