We fall for who they could have been. A reminder of the character they played before. Once they try to overlap the main characters it is something you can no longer ignore. There are those who lie and then there are those who cheat and there are always those ready to defy the rest of the world.
There was no way after making it this long that I was going to have my story end as a single mother I never thought as I was working on my vision board at 36 that it was possible for it all to change.
Whatever it is that we believe it is up to us to own it and we shouldn’t feel fear just because it may be different than every one else. There is a reason why we are feeling what it is we are feeling even if it is just to protect our own mind. What would happen if we listened to our own authentic hearts and be damned of other people’s poisons.
We are all on an interesting journey filled with so many incredible ups and even more painful downs. There is nothing that we are experiencing that another hasn’t already faced. I know that seems impossible but there are others living similar lives to yours. No matter the pain, no matter the sorrow what heals them both is the promise of tomorrow.
Have you ever been so scared of your own shadow you just want to jump and hide away? I would hide away forever if that meant my baby could finally stay. I want to hope for the best but all around me others are trying to get me to accept my fate. To all other’s tomorrow is just another date but for me when tomorrow comes I will finally know my fate.
If I am going to have to end this dream of a baby I was hoping to one day see, I am going to have to proceed with caution and do what is right for me. If I can’t turn back the hands of time, I can at least demand some validity. There is no harm in a second opinion or getting my heart to ease.
In our eyes we still appear as innocent like no harm can ever come our way. They absolve us of our sins and remind us love will find a way. If it weren’t for these few gentle souls that entered my life at a time when all I needed was a friend. I imagine how much stronger I could have been if I was more into their lives. Instead of a seat inside a classroom waiting for that final bell to ring.
The tragedy of not being able to conceive is a heavy weight for those forced to carry that burden. Even the possibility of being brought back to death will never extinguish the fire of motherhood deep inside me.
The creation of life is nothing short of a miracle yet we never identify it as being such a way. Think about it. Where once there was nothing there now grows somebody with limitless potential and faith. We grow another being safe inside our womb almost like magic beginning to create.
In and amongst the chaos all I hear is white noise. I don’t have much in common with the outside world anymore. My heart beats a little bit differently. Scarred from the loss of innocent lives throughout time their haunting whispers move through me.