I keep to myself for the most part because what other beings are capable of has broken my heart and left me feeling depraived. When forced to witness what others will do just to get ahead makes me thankful in this moment that I am told to eat sh*t instead. Yes it hurts to constantly get belittled inside these 4 walls and house but at least I know where the attacks are coming from and I could never say the same about anybody else.
Those who judge without living in glass houses should never be entitled to throw stones. I am tired of having a finger wagged at me for how I choose to medicate I just wish that some people would go away. At 300 mg of effexor, zoplicon and ativan I wasn’t me. Not even close. I became somebody who wasn’t even me. I shunned away those that showed me their true colors and what side of the fence they actually lived on and I continued on a journey that was 100% truly me. Sure it hurts when those you enjoy in life just cut you off but my life has value too.
Furs, feathers, skin. Aren’t we all created equal? All confused to what we are doing here and how could we begin to use each other to get our hearts desire with little or no help. Isn’t that what we have been conditioned to do? Pull the wool over our eyes till it all makes sense? What if it never does in the end and we wasted all this time believing something that wasn’t true.
A cat doesn’t wake up one morning hating its own existence, being miserable, trying to take down those most like them and more. A cat’s biggest worry is is my food bowl full and did you really have to put up a floor length window panel inside this massive house. They don’t walk around grumbling trying to take another down. Sure they compete for their humans attention for love and comfort but other than that they all react and behave like they are on common ground.
I never knew what true insanity felt like until I became a mother and all gloves came off. It was the minute I awoke from being ripped open true shenanigans ensued.
The preservation of our own species should be our focus instead of robbing Peter to pay Paul with Mary like we each don’t have our free will and story. Can you feel the difference and the gravity of the words I am trying to say? Or you just going to smile and nod and whisper to me to have a nice day?
What is mine is mine but if it makes you happier I will share all my posessions with you. What I value more than anything is a kindred heart and spirit, a loyal friend, an ally and those gems are worth their weight in gold. Those people I will cheer on endlessly and for them I will always have an extra spoon.
Somedays the toughest thing we can do is get out of bed. Our bodies are sore, our minds exhausted who has time or the energy to indulge in self care or vanity? Taking care of the only body we will ever know has nothing to do about vanity and ego’s but everything to do with how we perceive ourselves and the lifes we want to live. “Fake it to you make it!” Or “Dress for the life you want.”
I could never just pick one song to listen to as it is my favourite. Instead I will listen to the songs that best compliments my mood for the day. Music is timeless and the words last for eternity not just for today but for always and all the other moments interlaced in between.
What bothers me about being authentic is the judgemental eyes. The sideway glances and side eyes do nothing to disguise their feelings. Who doesn’t like to admire their own reflection? Perfectly paired outfits with coiffed hair and a winged eye. I think that is what makes me love the vintage era. Without mainstream media and accessibility more time was spent attending to self and family.