This is love this is adoration. This is the only opinion that should matter. Our pets know all about us. Our movements. Our thoughts. Our feelings. They are rare to hold grudges and most of all just want nothing more than our love. They don’t care if one eyebrow is missing our your lipstick is smudged. What matters to them is you made it home and for them that is their little piece of heaven on Earth.
The reality is you are always going to be somebody’s fuel to their own dumpster fire. Misery loves company and it is easiest to prey on another’s insecurities then to acknowledge your own. What do we talk most about? The joy we remember or the pain that we endured. More of us can relate to…
From the earliest of ages for most of us we are encouraged to have limitless dreams and reach for the stars. There was no dream to silly as we lost our magical ways in a transcendence trance like state. Being able to be free and to visualize a World that made us feel free and…
I am far from perfect but I have learn to forgive myself. I try to remind myself to be kind as many times as a find a new grey hair (trust me that is a lot). Let’s replace our own toxic thoughts with a harmony that will be remembered throughout time. It doesn’t have to reach the masses of epic proportions. It only needs to reach and touch you.
It took a long hard battle to get here and at times I never thought it was possible. My own negative thoughts and energy prevented me from becoming anything more. I am not sure what sparked inside of me. It began long before my brush with death. Well not too long because at 37 I was still lost and struggling to find my way.
I have to keep asking myself if I died tomorrow would this be enough? Right now I am stuck on a tank running on empty during a gasoline drought. In the distance I see something though. Like a mirage just taunting me at times I want to move forward
Memories can be oh so bittersweet until they become oh so haunting. Flashes of once were or what could have been. The fork in the road as you veer in the wrong direction. Maybe it was self preservation. Maybe it just wasn’t the time. Maybe because if your paths had crossed back then you would be nothing now.
I am scared to blink because every time I do there is another storey that rips out your heart and stomps on it into oblivion. The more we know the more pain that we learn to deal with. The more pain that we deal with the sicker we can get.
“I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything”
-Johnny Cash, Hurt
Is it possible to live with a childlike heart without getting eatten up by the masses. That I am not entirely sure of. I spent the last year focusing on finding my smile. Doing things that I normally wouldn’t. Reminding myself of who I used to be. Before all the violence. Before all the abuse. I stopped listening to all the chatter that was trying to bind me to my past. I never really understood why some people could be so determined to destroy another being.