My Rainbow Baby

I never imagined I would be blessed with a rainbow baby and now I have to pray to the heaven’s for two? I know I am not worthy of that kind of salvation. My life was saved when my Schmoo was given to me. I try not to focus on the pain but it is all that I have. Right now I am relying on my three year old to save me and it is such a terrible place to be.

The Day Before Tomorrow

Have you ever been so scared of your own shadow you just want to jump and hide away? I would hide away forever if that meant my baby could finally stay. I want to hope for the best but all around me others are trying to get me to accept my fate. To all other’s tomorrow is just another date but for me when tomorrow comes I will finally know my fate.

Can’t Turn Back

If I am going to have to end this dream of a baby I was hoping to one day see, I am going to have to proceed with caution and do what is right for me. If I can’t turn back the hands of time, I can at least demand some validity. There is no harm in a second opinion or getting my heart to ease.

Pregnancy Loss

I closed my eyes and waited as 5, 10, 15 minutes passed. She told me she wanted to do an internal ultrasound as my baby was too small. Of course I consented because I just needed to know but all she was doing was taking photos of my dead baby before she could finally tell me the words.

Life Itself

As my boys slept I happened apon this movie on Netflix, “Life Itself”. I have never heard of it and such is life when you rely on Netflix I thought I had seen or knew of what was on their playlist. The movie is a narrative that tells the storey from each individuals perspective and…

Baby #2

Happy Friday Darlings thank you for checking in. As always I appreciate your love, support and friendship. Only together on a unified front can we make a change. My decision to open up and share in my journey was for alot of reasons. One day I hope to write a book to inspire our young…

The day after

Nothing can prepare you for the day after. The night before going to bed, although in pain nothing can prepare you for the void of waking up no longer being pregnant. I vaguely remember going blind into the bathroom, the firemen threatening to call the police on me for not co-operating, I had to work…

In the beginning….

Originally I had planned to start a blog exploring, inspiring and documenting my love for everything vintage, girly and domesticated. Being pregnant I thought it would be a great opportunity to embrace the lady I worked so hard at becoming. I wanted to be able to be creative and have an outlet to the outside…