The only demon mind that I should fear is that of my own. Only she has been made of my weakness and only her version of me can stop me from being able to shine. One a living nightmare the other lost in a dream. Both are versions of me and both forever intertwined.
There wasn’t much to do but conceive children and try to maintain the health and prosperity of all. Divorce was frowned upon because once the deed was signed you truly became the property of the man. The older you became the least valuable you were. The best you could hope to be was a teacher or tutor for somebody else’s kids, a constant reminder of how you failed as a woman.
With the blind leading the blind and all others left to go astray, I will retire myself to the mountainside far away from where others will go. I never wanted to turn my back on humanity but humanity has turned their back on me. I don’t want to live in a world so self righteous when all I truly want is a chance to just live my life and simply be.
Traditional roles or not I am happiest as the nurturer and provider in my home. Isn’t that the true secret of life? To feel pride in the soul and love in the heart? We only live once and I for one prefer to live it in a perfectly wrapped package on display for the rest of the world. I am a woman and more to beauty I have hope and that is what is so urgently needed in today’s world.
Being depressed is easy. It is our excuse for everything, will the lack of doing anything. Oddly though it is when you are at your lowest that more people gravitate towards you. Not because they sympathise, because they do, it is also because we have this morbid fascination to watch another crumble in despair.
We are transitioning to a period we have never seen before so in essence some sort of panic and resistance was inevitable. The only way we can awaken from this nightmare is to try and tame the beast within. We don’t want to anger the beast inside that can rip us all to shreds instead we want to harmonize in a way that legends have been told.
There is nothing more confusing to me then the notion of how we calculate our success. When I was working my butt off I was never ahead, not really. There was always something more that I could dream of, first being a family to call my own. Sure I was successful in the sense that…
What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Do you wake up eager to start the day or do you roll over and hide underneath the covers? How much of your life are you prepared to sleep away in the hopes of finding something better? With the absence of smoke filled mirrors like the ones from the night before do you like what you see when you open your eyes or are you scared to face the World?
I dance with the child I abandoned along the way to a song that comes alive in my heart. My fears of a selfish existence fade away as they blend into the notes of my past. As long as I am cautious where my feet hit the ground I can make it through anything. With love, light and a little bit of magic I am destined to find my way.
When I think about the torment that happens to those that just want to find a safe place to shine it makes me want to go bolder, brighter, bigger. If there is no pillars of strength for the community to lean on what will happen to all the friends I have come to love? The ones who have come together after years of being told they weren’t good enough.