A Traumatic Search to find My Authentic Self

I think that is why so many people think I am crazy or why I can so easy bring a tear to my eye. I know what it feels like to live broken and have those closest to you hate you so much you wish you could die. Instead of having a family that was supposed to love me I was treated like garbage and thrown away. I am sorry I was forced to endure this pain it is something that lives inside of me still to this day.


I am stunned by everything that is happening around me. I used to believe in a life so perfect until I became a teen and life has I had come to know it began to rip apart at the seems. Our reality is that nothing is ever as it appears and we can be left scrambling to realize our own dreams.

Change the Narrative

Sure take pride in your life and your appearance but never share what a lady does behind closed doors. I get we need to take control of our own identity but I think there is a fine line between acting like a whore. I guess that means I am slut shaming but I don’t think so at all. I believe we should take pride in our sexual identity but be a little more coy in allowing others to lust after what they can’t see. Why does it need to all be on display like that? I can see how it is designed to help one get attention but to some of us I think we are seeing too much.

Despite What You Think

I felt that sting as I tried to get my barring’s in the world. There was a sense of fear and horror as I realized I had nowhere to go. I kept to myself. I always kept to myself. Anytime I began to trust somebody the ending just didn’t seem to play out right.

Good Life

All I ever wanted was the truth. That purity of information that has this innate ability to let our heart soar free. It’s a rare quality to find in somebody these days because it has been interwoven into every entity to search for fortune and fame.

Our Greatest Sin

We as humans will do anything to get to the top. Up to and including selling each other out. What we are told is to try and not let the words of others bother us so much but it is a seemingly impossible task to master and therefore do.

I Care

Not that I would hurt anybody but I do enjoy feeding on myself. It is crazy how fast you will believe the words spoken about you when you have been forced to listen to them every single day. All I want to do is love myself and save that starving child that is inside. I know it might take a lifetime to finally get to where I am going all I am trying to do is share with the rest of the world that I am here and that I care.

When Rules Apply

I used to be mean because truly I was scared because I knew I was different then everybody else. I wish I could stop feeling all the emotions that make up everybody because this type of delusion is making me insane. Imagine caring about those that only care about you when nobody else wants to and everybody stops coming around. No not me. Not ever again. I would rather be alone then fall for that energy ever again.

Deep End

The game and the rules no longer apply as everything is changed in order to accommodate another being. I wish people could see what we are doing too each other. I wish we could see how we continuously fail when we allow another being to feel anything but free. Sometimes I just want to jump off the deep end I wonder if there is anybody out there just like me?

When We Are Dead

The void that happens instantly when part of our family doesn’t come home is heart breaking. I know that we aren’t meant to be here forever but our hearts sure do bleed the moment they decide to go on and leave.