For those of you who know my storey already know that I am convinced that something divine happened to me that day my son breathed his first breath. I wanted to say born but the fact is he was cut from my body. For whatever the reasons that I will never be entirely sure of…
So in the spirit of living your life uniquely. Be kind. Be the one who isn’t afraid to shut down ridiculing or abuse. Be the one that has broad shoulders and an umbrella for when those storm clouds role in. The World can be bitter and the World can be cruel but that doesn’t have to be you. The best lesson we learned is when we were little, “I promise to share and be friend.” Simple. Serenity in simplicity. That is all we truly need
For whatever reason I stayed here on this side. So I have to make a difference. I have to make it count because if I don’t. Then the wrong life was spared that day and I can not live with myself thinking that. I will reach for the stars and I will take you all with me because it is only with love that my eyes began to open again.
My eyes are now focused on those that make their way in front of me. My reflection only matters in their eyes no longer my own. Only I can truly know who I am on the inside for I am bestowed that pleasure. My work and focus now is to help others see the lady I have become and maybe in time help others find their way.
We all have these incredible opportunities to live out our lives differently but there is always something that is holding us back. Call it an insecurity that resides within ourselves. Something that took a hold of us a long time. It dulled that sparkle that we used to look at the world with. Wide eyes…
It’s not the existing in a time where you are no longer. We all know that this is the cycle that we all endure. My question is just in the wondering what happened to you. Who were you and what did your life mean to you? There is going to come a time in somebody else’s life where they are going to wonder the same about me. I wonder if there is enough recorded to appease the curiosity.
When it happened he was like a bat out of hell terrorizing the place. I mean it was complete and utter chaos. Bruiser started howling, Latte was barking, my son was now into my make up and it was like everything I needed had magically disappeared. I kinda laughed as the minutes ticked down and just decided to let it play out the way it was going to. Look for what I needed. Put on what I found. Laugh at my hair as it just had this possessed mind of its own. The old me would have been reduced into tears. The mom in me just laughed. All this chaos and all I could think was no matter what happens this is all an incredibly journey.
It is never to late to let your guard down and love like it is the first time. In fact it is the first time. The first time in this moment, in this mindset, in this lifetime. Every moment from here on out is an opportunity for something great and to fall in love for the first time all over again.
I wonder why most of our conversations are so negative (hence my previous post). We are not so much our minds as we are these beautiful spirits underneath. Permantly subjected to do these intense feeling of pain and fear. Fear of failing. The pain of losing. We are in this constant competition state with each other instead of embracing one another for the beautiful disasters we have all come to be.
We can withstand losing body parts, limbs, eyes etc but it is the physical pain that endures that we can’t live with. Pain drives as crazy. It takes our ability away from having any sort of free thought. Physical pain will make you lash out at anybody for whatever reason but it still doesn’t make you feel any better. In fact it makes you feel worse. The embarassment of not being able to control your emotions takes over like wildfire