What does death look like? Why I think he is in the faces of all of our family and friends. There is a clock that is always ticking for us and will keep doing so until the day that we get too old. Why is it we are scared when we are all destined to go through the same thing? I think it has to do with the unknown and all the uncertainty with it that death brinks.
I look for it in everybody. Yet it is something I have only experienced once. That magical time you find yourself in the company of a star crossed soul you were destined to meet. In their company you can be anybody and you can achieve anything because it is in having them close that you finally feel complete.
For those of you who know my storey already know that I am convinced that something divine happened to me that day my son breathed his first breath. I wanted to say born but the fact is he was cut from my body. For whatever the reasons that I will never be entirely sure of…
So in the spirit of living your life uniquely. Be kind. Be the one who isn’t afraid to shut down ridiculing or abuse. Be the one that has broad shoulders and an umbrella for when those storm clouds role in. The World can be bitter and the World can be cruel but that doesn’t have to be you. The best lesson we learned is when we were little, “I promise to share and be friend.” Simple. Serenity in simplicity. That is all we truly need
For whatever reason I stayed here on this side. So I have to make a difference. I have to make it count because if I don’t. Then the wrong life was spared that day and I can not live with myself thinking that. I will reach for the stars and I will take you all with me because it is only with love that my eyes began to open again.
My eyes are now focused on those that make their way in front of me. My reflection only matters in their eyes no longer my own. Only I can truly know who I am on the inside for I am bestowed that pleasure. My work and focus now is to help others see the lady I have become and maybe in time help others find their way.
We all have these incredible opportunities to live out our lives differently but there is always something that is holding us back. Call it an insecurity that resides within ourselves. Something that took a hold of us a long time. It dulled that sparkle that we used to look at the world with. Wide eyes…
It’s not the existing in a time where you are no longer. We all know that this is the cycle that we all endure. My question is just in the wondering what happened to you. Who were you and what did your life mean to you? There is going to come a time in somebody else’s life where they are going to wonder the same about me. I wonder if there is enough recorded to appease the curiosity.
When it happened he was like a bat out of hell terrorizing the place. I mean it was complete and utter chaos. Bruiser started howling, Latte was barking, my son was now into my make up and it was like everything I needed had magically disappeared. I kinda laughed as the minutes ticked down and just decided to let it play out the way it was going to. Look for what I needed. Put on what I found. Laugh at my hair as it just had this possessed mind of its own. The old me would have been reduced into tears. The mom in me just laughed. All this chaos and all I could think was no matter what happens this is all an incredibly journey.
It is never to late to let your guard down and love like it is the first time. In fact it is the first time. The first time in this moment, in this mindset, in this lifetime. Every moment from here on out is an opportunity for something great and to fall in love for the first time all over again.