I find the brash evasiveness of strangers to be rather alarming. In one sense I want to be able to hold out open arms but in the same stretch I want to recoil. So many people act entitled to the point where your personal boundaries and limits are always tested. Nobody wants to take the…
I wonder why most of our conversations are so negative (hence my previous post). We are not so much our minds as we are these beautiful spirits underneath. Permantly subjected to do these intense feeling of pain and fear. Fear of failing. The pain of losing. We are in this constant competition state with each other instead of embracing one another for the beautiful disasters we have all come to be.
A place where time does stand still. Where there is no white noise or negative feedback. Where the only thing that can be heard is the haunting melody connecting my soul with eternity. A place where I am safe and my mind is set free. Maybe that is the key. I need to find a way to harness that energy into a more conscious way of being.
There are things you can do to make you feel more at peace. In some ways we were born to live alone. Society though prefers us to be tied to each other. It erases the desire to be Nomads from travelling from town to town.
That is why I do the things I do the way I do. I know the most precious gift I have is when I passed on the gift of life to my son. I finally understand what my mom meant by her saying that all she wanted from us was to live better lives than her. I never truly understood what that meant. Now I know. She wanted to make sure we had the opportunities that she didn’t.
So it’s happened. The final barrier I had that was keeping me from the outside world…well it’s gone. For as long as I can remember I have been in physcial pain. First it was night grinding, then it was a bf breaking my jaw, then root canals. Let me tell you my left side of…
It would take almost 2 decades for me to recognize the loss from that decision that day. And that really only evolved because I stopped EVERYTHING I was doing and changed my course. I had to. As the clock kept on ticking so did that dream of having a family and that desire to grow old with someone….see there it is again!