What do I know really, how could I have possibly been on the down and out. Just some 38 year old sleeping on the basement floor going back to school living pay check to pay check. I had two jobs and had taken out a student loan and then I found somebody more broken then me. I know I am unloveable that was my curse from being a teen but my husband has just been unlucky in love more so than me.
My naked truth is I am tired of pretending to be somebody that others have me out to be and I am definitely tired of living this corporate lie. All things will be changing in a blink of an eye. I am putting aside all my big corporate purchases for the next 6 months. Focusing on what will reward me going forward for being loyal and well informed. It is so much more than signing up to peddle a product, this is my belief, this is my life. The monetary rewards that I may obtain in doing so I am feeding back into my community. I want to love on those small business that show me love so I can help feed their souls and their communities. Why buy a cheap tawdry piece of plastic made in a factory out of China or I can purchase some lovingly formed epoxy made by a soul on fire. This is my dream and how I want to begin living my life. Feed the hearts that feed mine so we can begin to heal in the process.
Sending my husband for suncreen for my face armed with a picture I thought the ladies would be more help. Damn! I could be more help on a video call so why put him through that drama. So there it was the eye opener of a lifetime stop feeding the hands that bite you and look at getting paid yourself. Empower the woman you are while being the hero in their minds. Not only am I saving money I am making money and doesn’t that make me the ultimate boss babe. To me it is so easy, totally life changing don’t you think? Honestly, if you want to empower yourself and get in on this ride you know where to find me on the flip side xx
You don’t know the strength it takes for some of us to reach out especially if we have been bitten one too many times. I don’t bite, (ok maybe just a little) I am more concerned with the feelings being harboured and if I can help you release some of the weight. Your life is not the burden, what others made you believe is. Believe in yourself again and you will see the simplistic beauty in the world.
I am not in it for the money. I am in it to give back to my family financially because my beauty routine is a little extravagant. I am not saying I am not worth it, I know that I am I just would rather have money for extra extravagant things, cuz we only live once don’t you think? Let’s live happy together and build a community. Tell me what makes your soul sing so we can manifest it together. We are brought into this life alone and we exit the same so let’s build an empire of happiness together by loving and supporting all that we do.
When you are confident in your existence and where you are heading you don’t deplete your energy willy nilly you do so with full intention you do it slow and steady. We all want to build an empire but we don’t want to put in the work. For most nothing comes easy except life, death and taxes that is who most of us allowed our summary to read. I dare to outstretch my mind and dreams as far as they can span and I will do so accordingly. It isn’t a race and no one will win so use your time wisely and say no when you can.
The ones that are toxic and poisonous and have nothing great to say. If they don’t celebrate you and you don’t celebrate them, then it is “Hasta La Vista Baby”, and send them on their way. Once you give up on me I no longer see you, not even when you see my star shining and yours is still dull. I would have sang your praises and taken you along for the ride, then you clicked and unfollowed forcing my hand in saying goodbye. I don’t like negative attention and I sure don’t like those in it for there 5 seconds a fame. For me I am in it for the long haul I got a life to prove and I will live it my own way.
So in order to preserve my sanity I will forgo the Facetime with Family sticking with more traditional methods insteads. Taking the time to put pen down on paper I will speak all the words my heart longs to say. I am still the shyest gal in the room, on-line or not caring too much what others think.
The building blocks to a life well lived usually start from there. To nurture those in our family is to give them our unconditional love and support. What is missing from my life is a cheerleader, somebody to help me up when I fall down. Without a husband who cares and loves me I am just a middle aged lady growing cold.
There was never a guarantee that after 30 days my anxiety and depression would instantly lift. In fact I find myself struggling more than ever. It feels like I am in the eye of the storm struggling to grab a hold of something before reality breaks off and I am lost into oblibion. Never to be seen again.