A Life Filled With Hate

Will I ever have a good night’s sleep again? Will I ever have a day that is filled with smiles and all of this abuse. I know what he is doing is designed to make me feel weak and keep feeling like I am the one that is crazy wondering what I did in this lifetime to deserve all this hurt. I can’t remember how it feels to not have to live this way. Is this life better than the solo life I lived at 37? I think the verdict is still out on that.

To Feel It

I look for it in everybody. Yet it is something I have only experienced once. That magical time you find yourself in the company of a star crossed soul you were destined to meet. In their company you can be anybody and you can achieve anything because it is in having them close that you finally feel complete.

The Greater The Pain The Greater The Reward

The more one can give themselves selflessly to another the more life will receive some of life’s incredible desires. Not the desires of those that you know. But that beam that you walk on when you discover your inner bliss. There is a demon inside of all of us that we have to admit lays in…

In Bloom

Thinking back I had a terrible time in high school. I never really felt like I fit in anywhere. I spent most of my time dating the same guy. He was older and newish to town so we really just spent most of our time together. I was always awkward. Saying things at the wrong time….

To Master My Own Existence

There is something undeniable magical and mysterious when it comes to us being here. Like in this exact moment. None of us chose this life or chose to be who we are. If we would have had a choice of who we were going to be do you think we would have chose this? How…

The Three Gates to Self Destruction

For those of you who know my storey already know that I am convinced that something divine happened to me that day my son breathed his first breath. I wanted to say born but the fact is he was cut from my body. For whatever the reasons that I will never be entirely sure of…

A Moment too Soon

Aging although beautiful is also incredibly hard to watch. It would be even more so for those that are going through it. I dream of being able to make it into my golden years but…

The Biggest Lie Ever Told

No wonder why it is the biggest lie ever told and why some who be want to keep us from uncovering the truth. That a greedy man more consumed with wealth and power wanted to destroy our creator.

We Were Born To Stand Out

Through the years I began to understand how your own self worth was everything. That maybe none of us were ever born to fit in because that was not meant to be our destiny’s

Sealed with Love (Sweet Ruby Bluez) xx

There are so many reasons why I want to give up. There are so many more why I won’t. When I chose to give myself up freely to the powers that may be I had no idea the directional course it would put me on. I can’t tell you what it feels like. What I know though is somewhere through all the smoke and mirrors I know that there is pain and there is hurt and if I didn’t at least try and make the World a better place… I had to at least try.