That is something that isn’t really talked about to much. We are taught that dreams aren’t meant to be having. That if we stick to the course that was set out for us that we will achieve succcess. Who determines how success is defined for you. We have dissected everything down to its most literal sense and try to suppress any individuality.
Although I may walk in the shadows of some that have walked before me I am not destined to make their same mistakes. Life is about forgiveness and finding a way to all live together instead of destroying each other and the World piece by piece. As you sit there unwrapping present after present think of those that aren’t so fortunate.
My eyes are now focused on those that make their way in front of me. My reflection only matters in their eyes no longer my own. Only I can truly know who I am on the inside for I am bestowed that pleasure. My work and focus now is to help others see the lady I have become and maybe in time help others find their way.
I am not one to start my morning by poking a sleeping bear but that is what had to be done. Imagine as well that the same bear just got home at about 12:30 am (son as well for that matter) and now here I am the bearer (lol) of bad news that it was time to get up. My son awoke as well but after some cuddles and a nappie change he managed to fall back to sleep in my lap. For those of you moms out there you know that feeling of just unimaginable peace as the piece of your heart that beats out of your chest is finally content and sleeping peacefully…
We all have these incredible opportunities to live out our lives differently but there is always something that is holding us back. Call it an insecurity that resides within ourselves. Something that took a hold of us a long time. It dulled that sparkle that we used to look at the world with. Wide eyes…
The love they give us throughout their whole life… well nothing on Earth compares. You never have to worry about their loyalty or if they are ever coming home. In fact they will spend the rest of their lives looking for you because you will always be their favorite place to be.
The struggle of life is impervious to us all and I am just looking for a way to make it easier. Maybe I am selfish doing it for purely selfish motives. Maybe it is because I am selfless and after surviving my struggle I turn with an open hand to help guide you to shore. In times when we feel like we have no one my goal is to help you see that at least you have me. Who am I and why do I care?
No matter the circumstances the Winter season is the worst. In the coldest nights you comfort yourself with the warmest memories that only ease the pain for a while. When you focus back into the reality you remember the life as you remembered never existed. There used to be a time when my dad was my best friend and my grandpa was my hero.
My husband has been clean for 5 years. The friends that he was closest with growing up are still struggling. We all know how hard it is to give up on our childhood friends especially when you have lived that sort of lifestyle together. It is incredibly odd to listen to him and his friend talk about those they grew up with, those that still use and those that have either died or have found themselves back in jail.
I am slowly working towards the person I want to be. I have taken the first steps in identifying when somebody is in pain. Not physical pain. The pain that nobody wants to talk about until it’s too late. Everything I have been working towards is to help those that need it most. I will hug a stranger (with permission of course), I will brush away their tears if need be. My self realization has brought me to a place where I am ready, willing and able to help all those I meet. It is time when we begin to live a life all together instead of divided apart. Your sex, race, nationality means nothing to me. You are human and that is all the realization I need to know.