Why did you disrupt the timeline in the manner that you did then ran away before even paying the price? There is always a price to pay didn’t you know? So I paid it and I will have no qualms about choosing to do so again. I know who I am and what a breathe for. There is no entity of being out their that can ever sway me or make me lose all control. Well never to that extent again and not in the way they need me to be. I think I have evolved more as a person to continue believing all that.
Tag: #abuse #emotionalabuse #domesticviolence #narcissisticabuse #narcissist #gaslighting #trauma #healing #survivor #mentalhealth #love #domesticabuse #sociopath #ptsd #narcissism #toxicrelationships
Silenced. After a day of chaos trying to get a mi use so I can hear my inner child is driving me insane. Believing I have a partner in life who would actually like to succeed instead of driving me into an early grave. What I noticed about the meticulous way he dominants my daily life that I am incapable of having any sort of friends. I am weird. Chronically misunderstood and my mind is getting pushed to the limits and I am officially insane.
Making Life Ugly
My biggest fear is what people say when you are around so I chose not to be. I live like I was 5 years old again to scared to be noticed but also too scared that nobody will notice me. Those that speak ill of those they claim to be friends with have me heading for the hills. Bonus points for being ugly when you laugh at another’s domestic situation and how those caught in that web are subject to abuse. There is no beauty to be found in another person’s demise. These are the people who make living ugly and have me pulling out my hair.
Always Hated Never Liked
When I wake tomorrow a part of me wishes for a different life. A life free of being another’s proverbial punching bag and a life where I am worthy of being loved and other warm fuzzy human feelings of reciprocation. After you have been void of even the simplest of human emotions your body begins to shut down. You forget what it even means to be human anyways and you become easily angered and full of fear. The lies that have been handed down to you through the years tarnish what makes you human and desecrated on your ancestors grave.
Never Accepted, Always Hated
I still get shamed for all the air I can’t breath and I am entirely unsure what I ever did to deserve all this. Am I hated or just confused? How would I ever know? I know that he has never said anything nice to me and we have been married 5 years. He says I am a terrible mother and an even worse wife. There are no words he hasn’t spewed at me.
Life Obnoxiously Intertwined
You know the straw that broke the camel’s back weighed as light as a feather but the impact it made on it’s mark was clear devastation. That is all it takes. Just the wrong moment in time and anyway one of us can easily break. Who am I to judge the failures of our mental mind. You know what I mean. Not one of us is perfect. If we were why would we new the physical limitations to bind us when we can already release ourselves from the ties that bind.
Speaking of being seen why are we so negative about the human body? We are the only civilization across the time line that stopped expressing ourselves in this form. We erected these monuments and statues used to captive and take away our breaths. We erected these beautiful images and works of arts for all to remember the pure beauty and life that resides within.
Never Forget Who You Are
Maybe it was the true love of the heavens who stopped the hate in coming for me. You see the only man I have ever loved with my absolute full heart ended up being a monster and tore families forever apart. My angels couldn’t let me live with that burden so they took my other half away. That is the only piece of the puzzle I can share with you. For now I must pray. Pray for salvation for the souls he robbed and lost. I hope forgiveness will find him. I pray he will once again be OK.
Damned If I Do
It’s all fair and love and war and who is for giving second chances? Not me. Not anymore anyways. After losing everything once in life I would hate to start again. The momentum has just started to change in my favour and I finally think I can. I feel that I am finally worthy of the life that was destined for me and there is something strangely intoxicating about that.