Imagine getting up in the morning and deciding to troll. Your goal and only initiative is to get under another person’s skin so that they lose all control. You don’t care what is going on in their home or if mentally they are ok. They could be holding on by a thread for all you know and your words could be the last ones they hear before they take their last breath.
There is something to be said for an existence that is irritating. Not to myself but to others that have found themselves near me. I think it is hard to hear about how so many people don’t have an acquired taste for me so I shut myself off from the world before it is my time to leave.
My social media was becoming the same way. I like to have a purpose for people to come and find me but it didn’t matter anyways because most people didn’t come and stay. Does that make sense? Kind of. It’s like I think it’s just a numbers game for most people. They think once they have you sticking around that you will always stick around so they don’t have to buy into what you are saying or giving you their support.
Isn’t oxygen one of the key ingredients to our make up so it would stand to reason that you would want to be breathing in the best. Maybe it has been all that noxious air of obscenities that has come and taken up residency inside of my lungs. I just need to keep on having the testicular fortitude to stick up for myself and demand the best of care that is specific to my tastes and therefore needs.
So normally this idea wouldn’t even be entertained in my head as an option but with so many already doing it could it truly be that bad? For me I guess I bend my mind to where it is that I think the world is going and if there is a benefit for us to continue behaving in such a way…what could be the harm am I right?
There are certain things in life we are forbidden to talk about because the pain that it emits cuts deep but there are also others things that should be spoken about because you can see how the stories, although forbidden intertwine.
I think we are too flippant with our emotions only feeding into them when we feel lost and by then it is too late. How can we expect to keep a level head when everything is so heated it becomes almost impossible to mitigate the tension until it all becomes lost. An explosion of kinetic energy just waiting to get their baring’s in this growing cold world.
Why do we care so much with what is happening when we are out instead of worrying about the sanity of those we call family and keeping them safe. There is keeping them safe and then there is being overbearing, not letting them get their foot hold in an already crazy world. Perception is in the eyes of the beholder and I think that should be the focus instead of zeroing in on the only things we can see.
My truth can always be used to hurt me so that is why I always keep others at bay. I don’t need to know why other people don’t want me around or want to hurt me I just try to understand their point of view and allow them to have their say. Once I know their true intentions and what their plan is for me then it becomes easier to want to close that door behind me and throw away the key. In life we weren’t promised anybody. That includes family. Mothers, brothers, fathers, cousins can all turn on you. Maybe it is the abuse that you endured that keeps them all away. All I know is when one gets constantly thrown away after they have been damaged there are pieces that can never be found and that person will never be the same.
He is still trying to get his bearing to this crazy reality we call life. All I want is the best for him, all things considering, with very little strife. I didn’t know how life could feel once you had a piece of your heart beating outside of your chest. I swear I will always want to love and protect until that day is decided that I will be taking my last breath.