Don’t humans ruin the human experience? In order for you to begin to see the value to life you have to be willing to sever appendages off that no longer serve you. Easier said than done isn’t it? That is where you have to disconnect yourself from those feelings. Feelings make us irrational as humans so learning to inhibit or numb the most volatile of feelings we have to learn what we have become and can no longer ignore.
No sense. No sound. No real way of being just a misconstrued notion of how to be and what makes sense. Isn’t that the goal of what to strive towards just a new way of being that was socially acceptable no more confusing than what it used to mean to be me or you. Or maybe somebody else. Somebody else less frowned to be. Somebody made up of love instead on contentious misguided hate. I hope for a better, more understanding existence that is not only better for you but for also me.
Did you ever wish the Universe would get on with it but nah not really. Too scared of actually knowing what a real eternity could mean. I mean I am scared of thinking too far into the future but I am more than curious though. There is a calm that is in the center of my life right now. So many beings. So many little souls. And what about the concept of souls in every being. Could that be possible?
As I sit here in the cold trying to decide what to do all I can think about is how I wish this could end. I am so tired to hear the words of a man who promised to love me tell me I am not good enough to be the mom of my sweet Schmoo. He purposely sticks a knife in my chest then twists it till I can’t breathe. I need to get out of here but I have become too scared to leave so I sit in the cold all alone.
I remember being excluded from events because I was 36 and living solo. Ever witness a phone call where they were discussing your bank account balance like it was their concern? I have. Ever been made to believe you were getting a ride only to find out that they had zero intentions of getting you and only wanted to make you cry? I have! That is why I show up over and over again until the day I die because I feel people should be held accountable for their actions like you and I. I have fake friends but there time is up. It’s only a matter of time before they click unfollow and for that sole reason I think I will pass and light it up!
The preservation of our own species should be our focus instead of robbing Peter to pay Paul with Mary like we each don’t have our free will and story. Can you feel the difference and the gravity of the words I am trying to say? Or you just going to smile and nod and whisper to me to have a nice day?
Your thoughts, your feelings, your memories. Are you OK with everything you could have been and everything it is you have done? Did you try your best and live your wildest dreams or did you step to the side and let the world slip you by? I wish I had the sense, I think, to think the way most do. To miss the magic that could be felt if only you just believe. Believe in a life worthy of yourself and believe you are worth living your dreams.
The things we tell each other so we can sleep at night are the exact same things that keep me awake. Constantly with their hands out biting off the hands that feed them by telling even more lies. I can believe we live in a time where we would rather sh*t on the graves of being kind and doing what is right. I see greedy people and they are foaming at the mouth telling lies and sharing confidential and private messages like it was meant for all the world to see.
My biggest fear is we are all one and I will be returned to sleep amongst the most depraived. This is what makes me rise to be seen and yes truth be told on some days heard. I am for the underdog an eye for an eye. I am tired of those in power using their strength to hurt us when they have the capability to have us all saved. That is what makes me almost loathe the rich and famous. What warranted you the life of fame and fortune when the rest of the world is in need to be saved. What the world needs is a hero not another billionaire. One who will work for the common good of the people instead of their pocketbook and bed springs.
It is hard to believe that in time none of this will matter and each one of us will be long gone. The life that I have loved. The day that has just passed. None of it will matter to nobody in just a few short passing of years ago. Ten years ago was different then even then ten that passed before and the one thing I keep hoping is I just get 10 or so more years. Life I do like to live it. Even in those days that don’t make sense. The days I get to enjoy life and it’s abundance by living amongst it’s creatures and who knows maybe partaking in smoking it’s fine herb. To slow our thinking and it’s logic to a place that might make sense it’s niceties sit in quiet comfort waiting for us to make friends and break some bread.