I have never stared into the eyes of evil. Not in any sort of memorable way. Not that I can remember however so what does that have to say? Say about me or those involved one thing I know for sure I am tired of fighting for the cause. An unknown entity or specific way of being. I will keep on trying till I win, I hope, unless of course I am dying. No regrets in life at least that is what I hope. Life may not make sense for many but I think it’s all in how you define it.
It’s hard to come to terms with the reality that the love of your life is not somebody I am meant to be with. For what he chose to do in life a mother could never forgive. I think about all the lives he changed that day and the ones he took away. My heart forever in limbo as I paid the ultimate price.
My anxiety is crippling. I feel sick every time I move. I get sick often throughout the day. Mostly when he is berating me and trying to do everything to set me off. Does a partner purposely do everything in their power to watch a loved one fail? Today has felt like a doozy, at times I can barely breathe.