A Life Like This

How do you begin to move forward when the company you find yourself around wants to drag you right in? Drag you down to the depths of discontent, worry and abandonment the levels to which a normal person would have no choice but to go insane.

An Unseen Need

That’s where we go wrong. Failing to see the value that is derived from all life. We all were once a tiny seed until something got in our way and brought us into life. For no reason and if there was one it is completely out of our hands as we lose all types of control. We were never meant to be such an undesirable species hell bound and determined to destroy anybody who might have the courage to get in our way.

Never Measure Up

Life was never meant to be perfect just measured in moments that were designed to take our breaths away. To remind us of why it feels good to be human and why we should be more loving and considerate to all beings that come alive today. Why would we want to be any different? What would be the value of hurting people in anyway? Is there a power that we receive when engage in acts that are deemed deplorable or does the Universe even out in the end one day?

Torn Apart

So do onto others as you would have done onto you because sooner or later you will be alone and there isn’t much you can do. Did you strive to keep those close to you when you should have hit ignore or did you keep others around for too long when you should have kindly showed them to the door. Not everybody in life will have your best interest at heart so it is up to you to decipher is truthful and who needs to be ripped from limb and torn apart.

The Invisible Noose

I finally understand Robin Williams pain and how he came to the conclusion that he could no longer live another day. The constant pressure from the outside world to constantly be happy while living in your best image is a complication in my brain that I can no longer ignore and I have grown tired of trying to even explain.

Thinking Of You

Some of the last conversations I have had have been the greatest. They have been an eye opener to my soul. To hear the struggling words and desperate thoughts escape from the lips that I once knew break my heart. These are people that were at the top of my class, at least in popularity everybody knew their name. I feel sad in knowing that in their final days they lived so broken hoping for the best but it will forever be out of their control

Broken Too Young

That was my living example of relationships to look up to. A boyfriend who bit me and put cigarettes out on me to a best friend who was robbing me blind and forever selling me out. If somebody more popular wanted to hand I was always just collateral damage. It’s no wonder I gravitate towards a boyfriend who was older in my senior year because I needed to get the h*ll out. I sent him on his way when it was time to finally start school. College was supposed to be my eye opener how was I to know it was the start to even more horror </3

Rise from the Ashes

There are those to easily accepted of the mundane. I would rather be like a Phoenix rising high out of the flames. If they only knew but what if they did? Ot wouldn’t change the heart I have or all the things I believed and said. My feet have always stayed grounded on the floor. I couldn’t stop myself from trying and keep on wanting more. I want my life to matter at the very least to myself.

Authentically By One

From time to time and only the humans I can trust. The ones who haven’t tried to pervert the human experience and make me feel like I am living in a shoe. Maybe not a shoe but I  like to feel like I belong but then I get confused. Do I want to belong in a world that makes no sense? Or do I want to be an enigma that is perfectly me. That can light up the night and hold out a hand. I would rather be a friend to one than many. What do you think? do you want to be loved by many or authentically by one?

Owning Mine

The idea that some, correction, most will complain until their hearts content without committing to an inability to change. My head hurts but most days the pressure is too much so I just sit in silence and hope the naseauting presence moves away. Like a rat nawing on festered intestines I want nothing to do with it.